Wreggie thinks women need to come with a “check engine” light. His hypothesis is that this light would give men fair warning when “hormones exceed a safe level.” He thinks this warning light would allow him to escape to safety before all female-crazy-hormonal-hell breaks loose.
Hey! Do you ever watch That 70’s Show? I was watching tonight. It was episode 53, Red Sees Red, to be exact. Are you all familiar with this show? The cast of characters includes Red, the cynical, no-frills dad and Kitty, the sweet, kind, loving mom and the kids, Lori and Eric who are fairly typical teenage kids (who happen to wear a lot of ugly bell-bottomed pants) and a whole host of Eric’s teenage bell-bottom clad friends. Lori and Eric and the friends are always getting in trouble for things like smoking pot, or getting caught making out in Red’s car or some such thing. In episode 53, Red decided to inflict a curfew on the kids for their bad behavior. The kids kept pushing the limits and Red kept inflicting harsher punishments. Red was not succeeding in getting the kids to see the error of their ways. They kept sneaking out of the house so the punishments just got bigger and more over-the-top. Red continued to yell and punish and was only contributing to the kids’ desire to run away from home. Red was nailing windows shut, performing bedroom checks to make sure no members of the opposite sex had snuck in, and hanging jingle bells on all the doors so he could hear if anyone tried to sneak out. Kitty hoped that Red would try reasoning with the kids but could only watch as the wedge between her family grew and grew. At one point she looked at Red and said, “Stop it already! Enough with all this discipline!”
Red looked at her impatiently and asked, “Kitty, what would you like me to do?”
“I don’t know,” Kitty replied. “Maybe you could act more… LOVING?”
You see, Kitty was growing more frustrated by the day because she wanted her family to communicate and love each other and all they were doing is digging in their heels and fighting harder. (Hmmmm!) Kitty wanted Red to impose logical consequences and discuss the problems with the kids calmly instead of acting like the alpha-male and threatening to plant his foot in their *sses. (His signature threat.)
I love that show.
The moral of the story? Wreg, the thing you don’t understand is that it’s not going to matter if you can equip us with the hormonal warning light. It is not going to help you because you are going to HAVE TO come back at some point and WE… we women have the ability to shoot DAGGERS with our eyes. You know that uncomfortable feeling you get when you suspect you’re being watched, but every time you look to see, your wife is just minding her own business? Mmm hmmm. Eye daggers.
And it IS your fault.
Maybe it’s NOT hormones.
You brought this on yourself.
“And I have a headache.”
Hey! I have an idea! Instead of a warning light, how about you just give us a foot rub instead?