‘Cause I Had a Bad Day

It happens.

It’s been a bad day as far as being a parent and a part of this family. I guess it’s nothing that most families don’t face at one time or another. Maybe I got cocky. I often say that I am very lucky to have such good kids. And I do have good kids. But this weekend we all tested one another’s patience.

Personally, I let myself give in to that overwhelmed feeling I often experience. I ended the work week feeling pretty exhausted and somewhat sick, and as a result, Friday night was a loss for me. I got nothing accomplished. Saturday morning started out good. Physically, I felt good. I had a great run. And then I turned to face the household chores. It feels like the house just falls apart between the time the cleaning is done one weekend, until the time we reach the next. And I think the ongoing improvements taking place in the kitchen are beginning to take their toll as well. I just wish it were all done and I weren’t constantly looking at half-finished trim work and missing crown-molding. I’m tired of seeing tools in my kitchen. I want them out.

So the house was a mess on Saturday and the rest of the family had disappeared. Oh, they were all doing productive things to some degree, just nothing that helped out here, in our own home! And I started letting it get to me. Suddenly the unkempt condition of the house grew to epic proportions in my mind. The resentment seeped in. “I work full-time. I’m tired after working too. I would rather be doing something fun. But here am I. Cleaning the house. All by myself.”

Finally, near the end of the day, I vented my feelings by having a nice little yelling-fest with my husband, after which I apologized for blowing a cork and he informed me that I had every right to blow a cork and to which I responded, “Damn straight.” (He lets me get away with a little tantrum now and then. He knows it is cleansing for me.)

So we then had a talk with the kids about contributing around the house and things got back on track to some degree. But some things happened today. And some things came to light. It was nothing life or death, mind you, but just some things that were kind of disheartening and disappointing. I saw a side of my kids that I knew had to be there, but just don’t like to see.  There was selfishness and insensitivity. And there was one issue with some behavior that is somewhat serious. You know how you make mistakes in your life, and you grow up and learn better, then as a parent hope your kids don’t bother with that particular poor choice? Yes, well, hoping isn’t always enough. But we had a serious heart-to-heart and all I can do now is hope that child can see that my disappointment is only so deep because my love for my children is as deep as it is. (Yes, I know this is vague, but I don’t want to hurt that particular child by writing specifically about the situation. I don’t want that child to feel any more beat down than they probably already feel.)

It was hot here today with humidity around 53%. I’m not sure why my husband resisted turning on the air conditioning for most of the day, but the stifling atmosphere just contributed to my feelings of failure and claustrophobia. I ended up hiding out in my bedroom for the evening and am ready to call it quits for this day. I’m looking forward to a new week and a better grip on everything. I know that I need to take control of the things that get to me. There is no reason we can’t maintain some semblance of order around this place. I guess it’s just going to have to be up to me to dictate how that is to be accomplished. I know the whole family does so much better when I make a check list of things that need doing. The check list (and probably a schedule) are the key to maintaining my sanity in this respect. They’re not lazy. But I remember being a kid. Kids don’t see that the floor needs vacuuming. Kids don’t see dust. But they will help with chores if I just tell them what I need. No one is going to read my mind, ever.

And just so you know, the evening out with our chiropractor and friends was a blast. I’ll save that story for another day.

12 thoughts on “‘Cause I Had a Bad Day

  1. I always marveled (still do) at people who can work full-time and STILL manage to keep a house spotless too! And, if I had a nickel -hell, even a penny -for everytime I grumped and yelled to my kids about how I work full-time and they live here too and why can’t they see something that needs done and do it. Then it became “I work 25-30 hours a week and go to college full-time and you’re old enough to do a few things around this place.” Now, Mandy is the one who does laundry and tries to keep the bedrooms afloat while I generally handle the cooking and most of the kitchen work and we kind of take turns cleaning up downstairs most of the time. And the same issues I had with my kids, she has now too with the stepdaughter -who does very little and the two little ones who normally turn a deaf ear when anything is said about picking up their toys, etc. Seems to be a genetic trait I guess!

    I just realized something tonight -when I read your blog on my reader, I used to be able to click comments from my reader on your old blog but I see that’s missing on the new one. No biggy -just something I noticed here.

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  2. I think we all have bad days and need to blow our top and retire for the day. I also think most parents hate to see the negative side of our kids, even though it lurks there. Most of love of children deeply, so the disappointment will go that deep. I hope your days are mostly good!

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  3. We’ve all done it. Human beings can only take so much before they explode. When you’re worn out, everything seems a lot worse than it really is. Perfectly understandable. Sometimes a good fire-breathing fit is what is needed to get everything out of your system.

    As far as kids making mistakes, believe me, I’ve made plenty. I’m sure I’ll make plenty more before it’s over with. It’s the only way to learn for yourself. I know there have been many times where my poor mom and dad have had to see me dig myself out of messes I’ve gotten myself into. Luckily, they’ve always been supportive, no matter what, just as you are to your children. They are lucky that they have you there to help them through difficult times.

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  4. Sorry to hear you had such a crappy weekend. We all have times like this, you aren’t alone.

    Here’s to a great week this week now that you have knocked everyone back into shape ;-)

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  5. We all have a line that gets crossed at some point. For some people, it doesn’t take too much while others are seeming unflappable. I imagine that even Mother Teresa had her moments at one point or another (If you don’t straighten up your habit, I will!). Given the number of guests (human & canine) underfoot, and all of that activity going on at casa terri, I am surprised you haven’t snapped. Kids (& spouses) are great, but sometimes you have to crack the whip to get the troops back in line.

    Of course the addage we have down here is “If Momma ain’t happy, Nobody’s happy”. Hope the crew is back in line and you have a better week ahead.

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  6. A frustrating humid, hot day. Well, it’s over now and you can move on to a whole new day!! Keep the running up, that will help.

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  7. Girl, I hear ya. And I feel your pain. I think we all have those moments where it all just catches up to us and has nowhere to go but out. (((HUGS)))

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  8. Damn straight it happens!

    My kids can be thoughtless, irresponsible, slobs. I still love them and they know it, but I still sometimes blow a gasket when the irresponsible slobbiness really gets to me.

    They also sometimes partake in behaviors I don’t like to see them partaking in, but I’m glad I can talk to them about it, and I think they respect me for “pointing out” these things.

    It’s all good, and are there actually any people, other than hermits, that don’t have occasional days like that??

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  9. That sucks that you had a bad day. I have a day every now and then when I feel like I’m the only one who cares about getting things done, mostly at work. The little things pile up and annoy me…like when my shift vacuums the floor at work, and then the next morning at 7 a.m. there are little pieces of paper and crumbs all over the floor. How does a floor get THAT dirty again in 16 hours??

    Seriously, the beer in the shower thing does wonders for stress.

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