Been Needing This

I’ve been missing Kacey lately. A lot.

It’s strange to realize that I miss a child who still lives under the same roof that I do. But she’s seventeen now and a senior in high school. She’s busy living and enjoying the life of a teenager. And it’s all very healthy and normal. I guess I just never expected to feel a sense of loss at this stage of her life. I wasn’t close with my mom when I was that age. Kacey and I are closer than I could ever have hoped. I love spending time with her and I don’t think she minds it either. At her age,  I was a rather unhappy girl and didn’t exactly make life easy for my family. I didn’t know how to talk to my mom or tell her what I was feeling, and so instead, I shut her out. I would guess that at this same stage in my life, it was somewhat of a relief for my mom to have me out of her hair.

But I don’t feel like that about Kacey. I crave time with her, and the chances are fewer and fewer. And truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m glad she’s comfortable in her own skin and not afraid to be who she is. I’m happy that she has a circle of friends, good kids, with whom she spends so much of her time. It’s the way it should be. But it doesn’t stop me from missing having her around more often.

Today was a rare day. I got to have an entire day with my girl. It wasn’t really planned. It just happened to work out that way. And we didn’t do anything extraordinary. She just gave me the gift of her time. When she woke up this morning, I told her I really needed help at the grocery store. I despise grocery shopping, especially on a Sunday morning. But we needed food and today was really the only day I knew I could get it done before half the week has passed by already. She willingly agreed. WILLINGLY!

And so we set out for the grocery store, but before we went there, we stopped at Starbucks to get a little something special for me and for her. Then we decided to stop at Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy some new candles for the house.  We found the candle section and proceeded to sniff all the various candles, sharing the ones we liked with one another. It was such a simple pleasure and we picked out three that we liked. After choosing the candles, I was sure she’d want to get out of there, but she said, “This place is fun. Let’s walk around some more and check out all the other stuff!”

I am so lucky to have such an easy-going kid!

Finally, we made our purchases and then drove to the dreaded grocery store. We did all of our shopping and I’m even going to go so far as to say it was almost fun! It was definitely not the painful experience it is when I’m forced to do it all on my own. Kacey just keeps me laughing and we couldn’t stop talking if we tried. She’s so easy to be with, I just love it!

When we got back home, Kacey had homework to do and I had cooking to do. While I was busy making chili and chowder, she sat at the table doing homework, talking with me, and helping out with the cooking here and there. As the food was almost done cooking, I realized I’d just had the day I’d been wanting for a long while now – a day with my daughter.

I needed this… and I loved it.

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15 thoughts on “Been Needing This

  1. Good for you. When I take my oldest boy out, I always make sure we walk by something that stinks and I convince him that it is his feet. But, we laugh and have fun. Hopefully we get a chance to go fishing this next week at the cabin and I can find some of what you found today.

    Congratulations!

  2. It’s great to have a relationship like that with your teenager. Much like you, I couldn’t talk with my parents at that age. My father was not a “relationship” kind of person and didn’t do much to foster a bond with me. As a dad, I was determined to not do that to my kids, and spent a lot of time with them as they grew up. It sounds like her attitude is on track and that she doesn’t mind taking time from her life to be with mom. You’ve done something right there.

    Now, as for grocery shopping. I’m just the opposite. I actually enjoy it. It’s the putting things away part after getting home that I don’t care for.

  3. I hate that I don’t get to make it down to see my mom and dad more often than I do. I know my mom loves it when I’m down there, but bless her heart, she never nags or gives me a hard time. I’ll get an occasional email from her that will say something like, “I know you’re busy and I hate to bother you, but I just wanted to say I love you, and hope we get to see you sometime soon.” I always have to tell her that she’s never a bother. I love being down there. That thing called “life” tends to get in the way sometimes.

    I would agree that you’re lucky to have a kid (young woman?) as good as Kacey. When I was 17, I was kind of a pain in the butt. I took me a long time to find myself as a person, and I found myself having little to do with my family at that point in my life. I regret it now, of course. I have the best family anyone could ask for. Sounds like Kacey is pretty fond of you as well. I’m glad she knows what an awesome mom she has. :)

  4. As the kids grow up this sort of day becomes more and more precious.

    It sounds like a great day – as you said, nothing special – except that nothing can be more special than time spent like that.

  5. She’ll never stop being your girl and it’s great you found time to spend together, even unplanned. Especially since it was unplanned actually. Those times are even more precious.

  6. I know that feeling completely – I get those days occasionally with my youngest daughter. The good thing is that she enjoyed it! That’ll keep her doing more. LOL Its great you have that great bond with her –
    Two pretty ladies!

  7. It is refreshing to see a mother and daughter who get along well, rather than fighting constantly as so many do. It’s good when parents and their children can actually be friends, and not just family.

  8. Yay! Not sure why you dislike grocery shopping so much though. While it’s not my favorite past-time certainly, it’s kind of fun to buy the right stuff, get things on sale and look for new or interesting items. I saw pomegranate seeds being sold today for the first time. Not the juice and not the whole pomegranate….just the seeds. Odd.

  9. Aw. That’s so wonderful you got to spend time with your daughter like that.

    My son and I don’t get enough ‘quality time’ together these days either.

    I know what you meant by missing your child even though they live in the same house as you – and I REALLY knew what you meant by NEEDING that kind of time together!

  10. Aaw, very sweet. And it does sound like a beautiful day. Sometimes, I’ve found, that it’s just the day-to-day stuff (the dreaded grocery shopping) that makes for the most memorable times.

    And it strikes me that not many moms and their 17-year-old daughters have as nice a relationship as you and Kacey!

  11. When my daughter was Kacey’s age, we weren’t very close … I had a tendency to “think I was always right” (her words). So she liked having me be a Dad who supported her activities (set building and crewing for dance team events) but she kept me at a distance. I was always jealous of the relationship she had with her Mom. Then, I learned to listen … and, sometimes, to keep my opinion to myself. Now we have the relationship I always wanted. It sound like you’ve got it now. Enjoy …

  12. You two are so cute. I hope I have a relationship like that with my kids someday. I don’t have a strong relationship with my mom. We never talked about boys and to this day I never got ‘the sex talk’. She doesn’t know a lot of my secrets (like having a tattoo) and I hope that my kids and I will be close enough that they won’t want to hide anything from me. How do you get that kind of relationship with your child?? I think that’s the thing I’m most worried about when Mike and I have kids. I just want to have open communication with them.

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