I’ve been missing Kacey lately. A lot.
It’s strange to realize that I miss a child who still lives under the same roof that I do. But she’s seventeen now and a senior in high school. She’s busy living and enjoying the life of a teenager. And it’s all very healthy and normal. I guess I just never expected to feel a sense of loss at this stage of her life. I wasn’t close with my mom when I was that age. Kacey and I are closer than I could ever have hoped. I love spending time with her and I don’t think she minds it either. At her age, I was a rather unhappy girl and didn’t exactly make life easy for my family. I didn’t know how to talk to my mom or tell her what I was feeling, and so instead, I shut her out. I would guess that at this same stage in my life, it was somewhat of a relief for my mom to have me out of her hair.
But I don’t feel like that about Kacey. I crave time with her, and the chances are fewer and fewer. And truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m glad she’s comfortable in her own skin and not afraid to be who she is. I’m happy that she has a circle of friends, good kids, with whom she spends so much of her time. It’s the way it should be. But it doesn’t stop me from missing having her around more often.
Today was a rare day. I got to have an entire day with my girl. It wasn’t really planned. It just happened to work out that way. And we didn’t do anything extraordinary. She just gave me the gift of her time. When she woke up this morning, I told her I really needed help at the grocery store. I despise grocery shopping, especially on a Sunday morning. But we needed food and today was really the only day I knew I could get it done before half the week has passed by already. She willingly agreed. WILLINGLY!
And so we set out for the grocery store, but before we went there, we stopped at Starbucks to get a little something special for me and for her. Then we decided to stop at Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy some new candles for the house. We found the candle section and proceeded to sniff all the various candles, sharing the ones we liked with one another. It was such a simple pleasure and we picked out three that we liked. After choosing the candles, I was sure she’d want to get out of there, but she said, “This place is fun. Let’s walk around some more and check out all the other stuff!”
I am so lucky to have such an easy-going kid!
Finally, we made our purchases and then drove to the dreaded grocery store. We did all of our shopping and I’m even going to go so far as to say it was almost fun! It was definitely not the painful experience it is when I’m forced to do it all on my own. Kacey just keeps me laughing and we couldn’t stop talking if we tried. She’s so easy to be with, I just love it!
When we got back home, Kacey had homework to do and I had cooking to do. While I was busy making chili and chowder, she sat at the table doing homework, talking with me, and helping out with the cooking here and there. As the food was almost done cooking, I realized I’d just had the day I’d been wanting for a long while now – a day with my daughter.
I needed this… and I loved it.