Attack of the Boxelder Bugs

I’ll bet my cubicle neighbors, if they ever happen to overhear my phone conversations with my husband, really wonder about me. Today, they’d have heard from my side of the wall:

Hello?

Okay…

Why do I need to take pictures of the kitchen sink?*

Okay. Whatever.

Well, I need you to do something about the Boxelder bugs.

Whadda ya mean “Do what?” I mean figure out how to kill them!

I don’t know. Look it up on the internet!

Okay, bye.

Yes, I needed my husband to commit a major act of insecticide for me. In a cruel twist of fate, while there is still snow on the ground… while it is still too cold for grass to turn green or tulips to sprout… while I am still leaving for work in the morning wearing a winter jacket and gloves… somehow, it is not too cold for Boxelder bugs. They are apparently making themselves quite comfortable in the landscaping rock in front of the house. And they have figured out how to come in the house through my family room windows when the sun goes down.

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I do not do bugs. Especially not in my house. And I have seen more Boxelder bugs inside my house lately than you can shake a stick at. Gross! They are not welcome here. At all.

Eeew! Go AWAY!

I knew Mark would rise to the challenge. He’s handy like that. Yes, he used chemicals. This was not a “green” endeavor.

Lookit' him go!

Stopping to observe the effects of his Boxelder death ray

"Die, you little suckers! Die!

"Anyone who tries to escape shall meet their death by broom!"

Crazy Bug Man saves the day!

When the carnage was complete, he came inside to report back to me. With his chest all puffed out, he announced proudly, “There’s been lots o’ killin’ today, girl.  I think I got ‘em all.”

Then he went to look out the window to inspect his handiwork. “Look at all those little corpses,” he stated, clearly in awe of himself.

There’s been no sign of the disgusting little creatures inside the house ever since.

My hero!

*And yes, I did take pictures of the kitchen sink or more accurately, the scratches in the kitchen sink. The manufacturer says this shouldn’t happen. They’ll send us a new one because it’s still under warranty. But they want photographic evidence of the scratches first.

Come on! You're cast iron. You're supposed to be tougher than that!

**Many insects were harmed during the making of this post. And I for one, am celebrating!

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21 thoughts on “Attack of the Boxelder Bugs

  1. That’s awesome. Killing is one of the things guys are good at! LL ran screaming for me from the kitchen last night because a spider was running rampant. Mission accomplished. Taking lives leaves one with a great sense of accomplishment. :-)

  2. Oh the humanity! What carnage! Mark’s a regular serial bug killer.
    I’ll trade you a couple of Asian Tree Roaches for your Boxelder bugs.

    Nice sink. What are you washing in there to get those scratches? Rocks?

  3. YUCK, I thought that was mainly a Utah thing – the boxelder bugs, not the scratched sink. We used to get tons of those when we lived in Utah. Then they die in the light fixtures… leaving their corpses to block the lights… ick.

  4. Hats off to Mark! Let him be awarded to feelers and a thorax (reference to bull fighting awards where the matador is given the ears and tail of the bull if he wines with style).

  5. There is something rather satisfying about slaughtering a bunch of nasty critters. At our last house it was ants, but the current house is generally free from unwelcome intruders…

    Famous last words…

  6. Don’t they just love the opportunity to be our heroes? Great job Boxelder Bug Killer man!! (we call ‘em potato bugs in Sask, and Love Bugs in Texas .. but they look the same as the nasty ones you pictured – ick – I’m with you , no bugs in house or ON me!!)

    great post; now go bake that super-man something good :) MJ

  7. I need to know what he used! I have them all over too! UGH! And I think there is a bee’s nest somewhere and those little things are waking up and getting in my basement!

  8. I for one could have done without the picture of the nasty little creatures, but I’m with you, if it has more than four legs, or has no fur, it must die, and preferably outside of my house.

    I keep making deals with the spiders, right before I kill them. “If you stay outside my house, I won’t kill you. Tell your friends!”. Squish.

    They don’t seem to be sharing the message… Oh.

  9. Be veeeeeewwwy quiet – hunting Boxwwelder bugs..
    oohhhh boxwelder twacks……
    I’ll get them skwewy bugs! ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

    The death cloud is as we know it, is hovering somewhere over lake michigan….

  10. I’d never heard of these critter so I consulted Wikipedia and found that “boxelder bugs are redolent and will release a pungent and bad-tasting compound upon being disturbed to discourage predation; this allows them to form conspicuous aggregations without being preyed on.” Apparently said compound is ineffective against crazy bug men. Fun post.

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