The Difficult, Challenging, Sorta Good, Very Long Day

I have a headache. Everything I touched today fell apart.

Okay, no. It’s not that everything really fell apart. It’s just that everything became such a bigger deal than it was supposed to be. And I’m not complaining. Because there’s nothing I love more than being challenged and I probably haven’t been challenged enough lately. But if we could space these challenges out some, I might not have a headache.

AND … just when I thought my head was about to explode, I called home from the office, just as a courtesy, because I am nice like that, unlike some other spouses I know, to let my spouse know that I was still at work when I would normally be halfway home and that I would be just a little bit late today.

(I should get some sort of prize for that run-on sentence. Do they award chocolate for poor sentence structure?)

So as I was saying, I called home. I said I would be late. The husband said, “Okay. But will you do me a favor please?”

I didn’t even wonder what the favor might be. I was tired. I said, “Sure. What?”

At this point, he would normally say something like, “Drive careful, will ya?” Except today he didn’t say that. Today he said, “Say hi to Lucy will you?”

“WHAT?” I screech-whispered into the phone, hunching forward and tucking the phone in closer to my face. “No. No. I am not talking on the phone to our dog!”

“Yes. Come on. Just do it.” He was cracking himself up now. There was no question in his mind that this was going to happen. I’m not sure where this was coming from because, you’re just going to have to trust me when I say that my husband does not normally have silly tendencies. That’s my department.

“Mark. No. Stop it,” I whispered fiercely. I was not in the mood for this. This is something my daughter would do, not my husband.

“Yes. Come on. Hold on while I put the phone by her ear,” he was insisting.

He needs to get out more, I thought as I resigned myself to the fact that, like it or not, I was going to become the doofus who talks to her dog on the phone. But I refused to pretend like it was cute and funny.

“Okay,” Mark’s voice sounded a little more distant now. “Say hi to her.”

I hunkered further down at my desk, casting sidelong glances to make sure no one was witnessing this colossal act of stupidity. I lowered my voice, and so as to discourage any further attempts on his part to solicit any further participation on my part, I muttered in the flattest tone I could muster, “hi. lucy.”

Mark was giggling. I swear he was giggling and then cracking up and his voice came back clearly on the phone as he laughed, “Her butt is wiggling and she’s bouncing off the walls! Do it again! Hold on…”

Please God, not again.

“Mark, no… if you ever want me to get home tonight….”

My pleas were interrupted. “Never mind. She ran off to the front door. She’s looking for you outside.” He was still giggling.

“Yeah. I’m gonna get my work done here so I can come home tonight anyway,” I said dryly, trying to make him see my eyes rolling via mental telepathy.

“Okay. See ya in a while!” He was still laughing. Clearly he was oblivious to the fact that I was rolling my eyes at him. Or he was choosing not to acknowledge it. He’s an expert at that.

I’m sure you think that this story ends with my headache magically disappearing due to the comedic relief provided by my husband and dog. You’d be wrong. But there is a happy ending in that I did eventually make it home where my dog attempted to wiggle her butt off the back-end of her body in her overwhelming joy at seeing me again. And she tried to eat my black boots as I was attempting to get them off my feet. But I didn’t even care because it sure was nice to have such a warm welcome after such a challenging day. But I am  definitely not having any more phone conversations with Lucy. She’s a terrible conversationalist and her phone manners are deplorable!

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21 thoughts on “The Difficult, Challenging, Sorta Good, Very Long Day

  1. I used to voluntarily leave phone messages on our home answering machine to our first dog when I was at work. I missed her so much! At least you got a report on how your dog responded! Cute post:)

  2. This sounds like something my husband would do. He is usually the silly one and I am the eye roller, and most times when he does something like that when I have a headache or in a bad mood, I groan. Out loud. So he knows I don’t find it funny. BUT. Deep down I do find it funny, and more than that, I appreciate him wanting to make me feel better. And if he didn’t do something like that, I think I would feel worse. So good for you for going along with his little joke. Knowing that he’s happy and relaxed and having a good time is probably a relief for you. One less thing for you to worry about. Hope tomorrow is better!

  3. You think you’ll go to Australia, don’t you? Ha, Ha! Love the “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” play. Really well done. Great fun, even if you give it us at your own expense. Love this about you, Terri!
    Hugs,
    Kathy

  4. Sorry for the headache but I’m quite sure between Mark and Wiggly Butt Girl you had a better night :) I always talk to Frankie when I’m out of town .. sometimes, he talks back !!
    MJ

  5. It’s official. You’re now one of us – nutty doofuses who who dress their dogs in coats and talks to them like they do their kids and even sets up their dogs with their own Facebook account. You need to work on Lucy’s phone etiquette. We’ve tried that trick with our two kids but they were either too dense to catch on or too smart to fall for it (I’m thinking the later). I gotta hand it to Mark, at least he got a rise out of you and added something to your crappy day (or should I say Crabby?).

  6. Ha, I hope your head feels better.

    Did you ever see the Disney movie from the 1990s called Homeward Bound? There is a scene where a phone is being held up to old dogs here and his fav boy is talking to him. The dog voice just keeps saying: “I hate it when they do this.”

  7. Oh, Terri, this is just too funny! I’ve often considered calling and leaving a message on the answering machine so my dog would know I hadn’t forgotten him! The things we do for our pups! Hope your headache goes away soon. Didn’t you just have a cold? Could it have moved into your sinuses??

  8. HA! That’s pretty hilarious, but you DIDdo it! And she recognized your voice and went running to find you – how sweeeeeeet!

    Let the record state that I have never talked to any pets on the phone.

  9. My sister used to put her toddlers on the phone to say, “Hi, Aunt Mary.” All they did was sit there, breathing into the phone. I hated it! Now, saying hi to a dog or cat, that might be more fun! It sounds hilarious! Lucky you!

  10. Awwwwwwww! I think that’s awesome, especially that Lucy went to the front door to find you. Ha! Hopefully the headache is better today!!

  11. Every man has an inner child. Some hide it better than others. Mark doesn’t seem to be hiding his at all these days! This is a good thing, in case you failed to realise it :-)

  12. My wife does the same thing to me when I talk to my two-year-old. Emma will invariably hold something up for me to “look” at through the phone, not realizing that I can’t see her (physically, anyway :)). It always puts a smile on my face and makes the cares of my day melt away. Next time your husband asks you to talk to Lucy, I’d embrace the opportunity wholeheartedly. Life’s too full of aches and pains and difficulties. Might help you refocus on the great things in your life…I know it works for me…much to my wife’s chagrin as well :D. Be blessed!

    Guy

  13. LOL @Jules

    I can’t say that I’ve ever talked to a pet on the phone. At least she was excited to hear your voice.

    Sorry you had a rough day. I’ve had several like that myself this week. Here’s to a better next week! [insert beer *clink* here]

  14. This is too funny – I can literally picture both of you doing this, even your expression hunkering down at your desk?! I wanted to mention it that night, but thought I should refrain!

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