A Weekend with the Family

One nice thing about the kids growing up is that they’ve realized they actually like each other. Kacey had plans to come home from school on Friday for the weekend. The school year will be done in only one more week, but Connor had a job interview on Friday and they both decided to use the trip home to move as much stuff out of their dorms as possible before the semester is officially over. Before they came home, Kacey texted me to make sure this was the same weekend that Brad and Heather were coming home for a visit. I confirmed that it was. I like that it is important to her that her visits are timed to coincide with Brad’s.  There were a lot of years when I wondered if my kids would ever get along.

I took the day off from work on Friday. I wanted to get the house cleaned up, do the grocery shopping, and have a nice dinner waiting on all the kids when they arrived home. I thought I might sleep in a little bit on Friday morning but no such luck. My body has apparently developed an internal clock that awakens me early even when I don’t have to be up.

Oh well. Figured I might as well get started on the day’s chores as long as I was up. And the weather made it easy for me to be stuck inside being all domestic and such. And the day was not without excitement. The new street light was installed across the street in Neighbor Bob’s yard. Now Mark can stop leaving our house lights on all night long in an attempt to compensate for the lack of municipal lighting that resulted from the demise of the previous street light. (Boy, the things you miss being stuck in an office all day!)

By late afternoon, the house was clean and the kitchen was well-stocked with food that would appeal to hungry young people. I had a big batch of chicken chow mein cooking when they all arrived home right around dinner time. And except for Jake, who fell asleep after work due to still making the adjustment from night owl to early bird, we all enjoyed a nice meal together at the kitchen table.

Later on, we decided to watch a movie together in the living room. Long before it was over, Brad, Heather and I had fallen asleep and only woke up long enough to go to bed for the night. We all start our days before the sun rises. There comes a point in the evening where, if I’ve stopped moving, I’m probably falling asleep. Apparently the same holds true for Brad and Heather. Mark had a good laugh at our expense. Easy for him to laugh! He doesn’t get up early unless absolutely necessary!

The weather changed over from snow to freezing rain on Friday and then to just regular old rain, gray skies and a chill on Saturday. I made pancakes for breakfast and tried mine Heather’s way – with peanut butter and maple syrup. They were delicious! The weather made us people feel lazy, but not the dogs. Lucy and Dacotah raced and chased and played tug-o-war in the back yard with the doggie frisbee until they were completely wiped out.

On Saturday night, Mark and I had our bowling banquet for our Saturday league. The kids were probably getting sick of hanging out with us old people anyway, so it was good that we got away for a while. And considering that I felt like my game had really suffered in the second half of the season, I was surprised to learn that I’d earned some awards! I was recognized for achieving:

• a 225 game
• a 500 series
• 75 pins over average
• the league high women’s average of 153
• the women’s high game of 247

All in all, it was a fun night and we enjoyed good food and good company. Most of our bowling friends were going to continue celebrating after the banquet ended, but we called it an early night so we could get back home to spend more time with the kids. They had a little celebration of their own while we were gone. They’d found some good steaks in our freezer and cooked them on the grill. They added some baked potatoes and veggies and enjoyed a nice dinner themselves.

Sunday morning was lazy. Brad, Heather and I were up early (as usual.) The dogs know which people to wake up when it’s time to start their day. We sat in the living room watching t.v., sipping coffee and showering the dogs with attention. Before long, it was noon and time for Brad and Heather to head back to Fargo. We said our goodbyes just as the sun was coming out of hiding and the air was beginning to warm.

Kacey would be home a while longer. She helped us clean up the gardens in the back yard and install some fencing around them to keep Lucy out – because she refuses to believe that the gardens are not a part of her domain! It had warmed up so much since Friday’s snow that we were out in t-shirts and Kacey and I had bare feet! Our next door neighbors were outside too, enjoying the sun and doing some gardening in their own yard. Their new family member, Gracie was outside and Lucy was anxious to get to know her. Gracie was a little shy though.

While we got our gardens all neat and tidy, Lucy chased up and down the fence trying to get Gracie’s attention. Gracie began to warm up and I’m sure they’ll be great friends soon enough!

We had an early dinner and Kacey’s ride came to pick her up. We hugged goodbye and the house got quiet again. Brad and Heather plan to visit again in a month. Kacey will be home for the summer by the end of the week. Lucy was sad to see them go, but I think the break will do her good. Clearly she wore herself out!

 

Feels Like Spring Break

Lucy is so happy to have Kacey home, she even puts up with being forced to wear sun glasses!

It’s break time for the college kids and Kacey is home for the coming week. I’m happy. I like having her home and not just because she bakes goodies and thinks to empty the dishwasher when it’s full. She brings sunshine into the house. She is so immersed in her life right now, growing, learning, exploring her world and learning who she is. And she talks to me about it. I never grow tired of hearing her stories. A whole Saturday morning can pass by before I know it because we are so busy talking.

I know I’m a lucky mom to have a daughter who is willing to be so close with me. And with the boys being so grown up; one living on his own in another state, and another who still lives at home but is rarely around, Kacey’s visits home from school feel like a breath of fresh air.

With Kacey home, we’ve had lots of visitors. Connor, of course, is here a lot. And their friends come by to hang out often. They’re good kids. Polite, energetic, and all with a good sense of humor. They’re fun to have around. Even Jake stuck around the house for a while yesterday to enjoy the little “party” that was going on in our living room.

The weekend was a busy one and it seemed to fly by. So I’m glad that Connor suggested we go bowling this afternoon. Mark and I agreed to take him and Kacey to the bowling alley. When we first arrived, the lanes were all full but the attendant at the desk assured us it wouldn’t be long before some of the guests would be finished and there would be lanes available for us. We decided to wait in the bar and ordered burgers for our dinner. As the four of us sat around a small table enjoying our food, I thought what lucky parents we are that our daughter’s boyfriend asks us to hang out with them! Connor and Kacey sat and talked with us about school, their friends, plans for next year and living off campus. They talked so much that we had to wait for Kacey to finish her meal before we could go bowl. She laughed and joked, “Sorry. I talk too much!”

We had a great time bowling. Connor has really figured out the game and threw more strikes than the rest of us combined. Mark has begun to take his game a bit too seriously and kept getting mad at himself for not throwing perfectly every frame. But Kacey, Connor and I kept cheering one another on, and began to make a silly noise - WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! - every time someone bowled a strike or picked up a spare. I’m sure Mark consider it embarrassing, but we didn’t care. After all, we were in the bowling alley. Very little is considered strange in the bowling alley. And if you’re not having fun… well, you’ll just end up getting mad at yourself for not bowling like a pro! We bowled three games before calling it a night and heading home. It was fun and a great way to end the weekend.

Every time Kacey is home from school, I find myself wondering how long before she stops coming home so often. I wonder, as she continues to become the adult version of herself, how many more times I’ll enjoy the luxury of a lazy Saturday morning with her, eating big, hot breakfasts at the table and talking so easily about everything and anything. How long before she won’t be willing or able to spend a Sunday afternoon running errands and shopping with me? While I hope and pray for her to have the life of her own that she dreams of, I don’t want it to come too soon. So I treasure these times while they’re still here.

Go Jump in a (Frozen) Lake!

When I walked through the door on Friday after work, something was different. The dogs didn’t bombard me with their usual woofing welcome and happy dance. And I knew exactly why.

“HEY, TER!” Connor called out to me from behind the snack cupboard door in the kitchen with a voice ten times louder than was necessary. And he knew it.  He’s such a goof.

“Hi, Conn,” I laughed as I came up the stairs. In the living room, my daughter sat with her legs crossed in a chair.

“H, Kace,” I smiled at her.

“Hi, Mom,” she returned. “Mom, this is Laura,” she said nodding toward the girl sitting on the love seat. I smiled and said hello to Laura. She was cute and friendly and I was happy to finally meet Kacey’s friend from school. I’ve heard a lot of great things about this girl. The dogs were clearly infatuated with Laura and I saw where all the furry affection was being directed.

I’m usually tired and lazy on Friday evenings after a long week at work, but having my daughter and her friends home gave me a burst of energy. The house felt happy and full. Soon Alex and Heather came through the door to join the party and the dogs were in their glory, thinking all of these visitors had come just to see them.

Their spring break begins in only one week, but the kids had good reason for being home this weekend. They had signed up for the Polar Bear Plunge on Saturday. They raised funds for Special Olympics Minnesota and now it was time to take a dip in frozen Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis. Of course, it’s not quite as simple as all that. A lot of planning went into the team’s costumes. Many teams dress up as movie or cartoon characters or come up with a theme. Kacey’s team decided to be The Patriotic Plungers. They put careful thought into coordinating their costumes. It’s amazing to me what people are willing to wear when jumping into a lake through a hole in the ice.

Connor has been taking the plunge for several years along with his uncle’s team. This year, he talked Kacey and the others into forming a team of their own. I thought we might go watch the big event, but it is a big event attended by hundreds of teams and who knows how many more spectators. Kacey has gone to watch Connor’s plunges in the past and she assured me that it’s a bunch of watching the team wait in line, and then when it’s finally their turn to plunge, it’s all over within minutes. She kept trying to convince me that it wasn’t worth the trip and that I might not even be able to get in position to take pictures.

Turns out her real motive was food. My daughter works hard to eat responsibly while she’s away at college, but when she comes home, she wants comfort food. And so do her friends. Last week in the cafeteria, there were cheese stuffed pasta shells. Each student was only allowed one, and as the friends were eating together, they soon learned that their pasta was a big disappointment.

Connor said to Kacey, “Your mom’s stuffed shells are so much better than this.”

And so Kacey texted me, asking, “When we come home for the weekend, can you make stuffed shells for all of us?”

I’m a sucker and I agreed. Stuffed shells and Italian sausage for five hungry college kids, as well as a husband and twenty-one year old… and some extra to bring to my mom and dad… is a big job. I stayed home to cook while the kids went to jump in a lake on a bright and sunny thirty degree day. I made Kacey promise to make sure someone took pictures of some sort and that they would be shared with me.

I spent the afternoon in the kitchen, cooking pasta, mixing the cheese mixture, stuffing shells and cooking sausage. By the time the kids were done with their plunge, they were starving. Their timing was perfect and they all gathered back at the house just as the pans of cheesy pasta were coming out of the oven. I made a big salad and some garlic bread to go along with it, and they ate until they were stuffed.

I wanted to hear all about the big event of the day, and the girls especially had lots to tell. They said that the shock of the cold water wasn’t nearly as bad as they’d anticipated. There were hot tubs for the participants to warm up in after plunging, though they were so full of people, they didn’t even get in one. Most importantly, they’d had fun, from the planning to the plunge. They were glad they did it.

Connor’s uncle got a great shot of the kids just as they were taking the leap.

Connor, Kacey, Chris, Laura and Alex taking the plunge

It makes me happy that my daughter is able to step out of her comfort zone and try new experiences, especially one that benefits someone other than just herself. Once Connor had her convinced to do it, she poured herself into the project, raising funds and coordinating the team theme. And maybe just as important, she had fun. I’m proud of her. I’m proud of all of them.

Life is Good – 2/2/2013

It’s that time of year that I knew would inevitably come, when winter feels as if it’s been here long enough already and there’s no end in sight. This kind of winter is what I know, gray days and bone chilling cold at times. It’s not the season itself that really bothers me so much. It’s what I let it do to me. When I can’t seem to stay warm, I slow down. I stay inside, doing still and quiet things, like reading books or watching movies. My motivation  to get these muscles moving fades away. I can’t seem to get enough sleep.

These aren’t bad things, when I allow them in moderation. And lucky for me, I always seem to recognize when enough is enough. And this has been that week.

I’ve been guiltily joking about falling off the exercise bandwagon lately. Sure, there were contributing factors in the past couple of months – varying illnesses and a back strain that left a weeks-long ache in my hamstring muscle. But those things have long subsided. I said I couldn’t run outside. It was either too cold, too icy or too snowy. And as for the treadmill in the nice warm gym, it was getting boring. And the gym was packed with new bodies anyway. I felt crowded by all of those enthusiastic exercisers hell-bent on honoring their new year’s resolutions. And each day that’s gone by without any attempt by me to keep my body strong has gradually added to my pile of guilt. The guilt became too much this week, but I knew I needed something new, something to make me enthusiastic again.

I’m exploring the world of yoga! Thank you, Cable T.V. for your on-demand fitness programs that are tailored for everyone from beginner to advanced. I am once again starting the day in a healthy way. And don’t worry. I’m not giving up running – just taking a little break.

The good mojo seems to have worked its way into my work life this week too. I’ve found myself steadily busy and productive, just the way I like it. There’s been no word from the CEO about the headline contest, but he did send me another assignment yesterday. Seems he wanted a press release for a new product that’s up and coming. He gathered all of his thoughts and ideas on the subject and spewed them into an email which he then sent to me. He asked me to give it a good work over and “tighten it up” and I found myself with company approved time to just sit and write.

Things are all good with the family. Our winter laziness has at least inspired Mark and me to do a good amount of home cooking, which feeds right into my ongoing goal to eat better.

Brad received his college diploma this week and sent me a text message to let me know. “Turns out I graduated after all,” he said. The day of graduation, he was joking that he might be cutting it close and wouldn’t know for sure until days or weeks after the graduation ceremony. I never doubted it though, and I told him so.

Kacey texted me several times this week from school. Once was to let me know that two of her friends had mentioned they were craving some soup that I’ve made on several occasions. It’s nice to know that my cooking skills are adequate enough to generate requests for a repeat performance.

Kacey also texted me to let me know she and her friends have signed up to do the Polar Bear Plunge – a fundraiser to support Special Olympics Minnesota athletes. Kacey and her team will be gathering pledges and in order to collect on them, they’ll be taking a plunge into Lake Calhoun on March 2nd – which means they’ll be taking a plunge into a hole cut into the ice and dipping into the frigid water! I think they are brave, and I am proud!

And I actually saw Jake this week and spent time with him for about an hour, while he was wide awake and in good spirits. He’s been working a lot, so time with him is often hard to come by.

And this morning, after a long, dreary, cold week… it is still cold, one degree outside as I write this. It was snowing as I left work yesterday afternoon, big, fluffy, lazy drifting flakes. The snow continued into the evening and left the landscape clean and fresh. It’s the weekend and the sun is shining.

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Temperatures are predicted to rise up into the teens today. It’s better than single digits. I’ll take it. Life is good!

Only 119 days until summer break begins

I’m sure for many others, that holiday feeling faded away almost two weeks ago, once the holiday celebrations had all become a thing of the past. I too have returned to the routine of everyday life, but for me, the “ordinary” doldrums were kept at bay while my baby has been home from college.

I always say that I’m not sure what I might have done to be blessed with such good kids. Believe me, I certainly didn’t earn these blessings with my own behavior in my younger days. My three have very distinct and different personalities, for sure, but between them, there is diligence, confidence, good humor and compassion. There have definitely been highs and lows as we’ve watched them grow, but I am so proud of the people my children have become.

Now that they are grown and working toward lives of their own, the house is so much quieter than it ever was. Yes, they are each still in transition to their adult lives, but the two boys are well on their way to independence, only leaning on us here and there at times such as when facing a particular situation for the very first time. (Brad called last week for help understanding his employee benefit offerings.) Kacey’s ties to home are still a bit more secure, but as a college sophomore, I know those ties loosen a bit more with each passing day. It’s no secret that some of the highlights of my days are those times when the kids come home to stay for any length of time.

For the past four weeks that Kacey has been home from school, it’s often her voice or face that greets me when I come home from work. She’s so full of enthusiasm and energy for life, she’s just a joy to be around. She has such a knack for finding the silver lining in every situation and has an easy ability to laugh at herself and help me not to take myself so seriously. (Really, sometimes I wonder who’s the adult and who’s the child here!)

The dogs are always happy when their favorite cuddler is home too.

I remember my own years at Kacey’s age. My mom and I did whatever possible to steer clear of one another. She (wisely) knew there was no winning with me and I was too cool and too perpetually annoyed with my life to reach below the surface with her. I’m happy to say that, eventually I did some growing up and Mom and I have made up for lost time, but now I’m sorry I couldn’t give her what Kacey has given me.

Spending time with my daughter is one of my favorite things. Just yesterday, as we were greeting the day in that weekend way, slow and lazy, she said, “You should make us some omelets with peppers in ‘em.” It was long ago decided that I am the best omelet maker in the house and breakfast being one of my favorite meals, I easily agreed to Kacey’s suggestion. As it turns out, there were no peppers in the refrigerator, but we did find some ham and cheese and some breakfast potatoes.

“I think I’ll put some chopped onion in mine,” I mentioned.

“If you saute’ them first, I’ll have some too,” she said.

Simple, little things I learn from her sometimes. I’d never in the past sautéed my onions before putting them in my omelets. Turns out I really liked them!

Together, we made a mess of the kitchen, the end result being steaming, cheesy, overstuffed omelets that were almost too big for either of us to finish. We should have split one! But sitting together at the table, enjoying our over-sized breakfasts, talking, laughing at how the dogs never give up begging for a bite of “people“ food they’re not going to get… it’s the kind of precious moment I look forward to more as opportunities grow fewer.

I’ve loved having Kacey home the past four weeks, and not only because she’s the one family member who might notice the dishwasher needs emptying and just take it upon herself to just do it without being asked. She’s my ray of sunshine, always anxious to share her stories with me, making me laugh, or wanting me to watch a chick flick with her. I feel honored that at her age, she carves time out of her busy life for me. My world can feel a bit empty at times. She reminds me that I’m wrong. My life is overflowing.

My holidays come to an end today. Second semester is starting tomorrow and it’s time for Kacey to go back to school. But I get to ease back into the old and sometimes boring routine. Her college isn’t all that far away. She can come home often, and I’m happy that she does. Next weekend is the home opener for the Minnesota Wild and Kacey and Connor are big fans. Now that the NHL season is finally starting this year, they plan to be at that first game. They’ll be back home in just a few short days! Think I’ll stock up on some fresh red and yellow peppers before next weekend rolls around.

Sibling Love

One of the best things about my kids being grown up is that they actually appear to like each other… most of the time.

Brad graduates from college on December 14th. The whole family and Connor have been planning to attend the ceremony and celebrate with Brad. But last night, Kacey had to break the news to Brad that Connor won’t be able to make it after all.

 

I guess they haven’t completely shed their habit of picking at each other!

When you know you got at least a few things right with that parenting gig …

BZZZZZ!

TEXT MESSAGE!

… from my darling daughter upon her return to school after a weekend at home …

Forgot to tell you this, but on the way back to school Conn was saying how happy he was that we got to go out to eat with you guys, and how much he loves you guys and how sad he was to leave Sunday, and how he looks at Dad as one of his few ‘father figures’ so thank you for everything. Love you guys! Have a good week

That just felt like the kind of message I wanted to write down and keep forever. ‘Cause as much as I know we’ve screwed up in our roles as parents, it’s amazing to read words like these and know that once in a while, we manage to make a positive impact.

And these kids? We think they’re pretty great too.

Happy Girls!

The shelves that Mark made were well received by Kacey and friends!

Two thumbs up from Andi!

Big smiles from Hailey

Two more thumbs up from Kacey

 

Before we left to go back home, Kacey was telling Mark that her friend, Alex wanted a shelf for his desk and Mark was telling Hailey he would make one for her roommate too. I think if he ever quits his “day” job, he’ll know just how to keep himself busy and happy!

Wooden Shelves Made with Love

Last year when Kacey was a freshman at a different college, her dorm room had a desk with a shelf on it. The dorm itself was old. And as tends to be with dorms, her room was cramped and the closet was tiny. And if you know anything about girls, it’s that they have a lot of stuff! So that shelf on Kacey’s desk offered necessary and valuable storage space.

When she switched to a new college this year, one of the perks was a room in a newer building. It’s much bigger than last year’s room, with a better layout and a good amount of closet space. But there was one drawback. There was no shelf on the desk. Last year, Kacey kept her alarm clock on the top shelf of her desk. She would hear the alarm go off in the morning and lean down from her bunk, reaching toward that shelf to turn off the clock. As Kacey and her roommate, Andrea unpacked their things on move-in day this year, they contemplated what they could do about the lack of space on their desks. Maybe they could buy something, they thought.

When Mark heard that, he jumped to the rescue. There was no sense in trying to find a shelf to fit the desks. He would make them, he said. He loves this kind of thing. He lives for this kind of project. All he needed were some good measurements and he would be all set to build the perfect shelves. No one had a tape measure though. I tried to get a good measurement by flipping a six-inch protractor over and over from one end of Kacey’s desk to the next, but Mark didn’t trust my measurements. (Good thing, too.)

Eventually, Kacey got a tape measure, and with the help of her Eagle Scout pal, Alex, reported the exact measurements to Mark. Mark bought some wood and I came home from work one afternoon to find him in the garage with three shelves for three desks, one for Kacey, one for Andrea, and one for their friend Haley too.

Each one is a little different the others. Mark says he did that on purpose.

“How are you going to decide who gets which one,” I asked?

“Kacey gets to pick the one she wants,” he said, “and then the other two can choose from the remaining two.”

After I’m done at work on Tuesday, we’re going to hop in the truck and make the hour and a half drive to Kacey’s school. I’ll get to see my girl for a little while and she and the girls will get to have their new desk shelves.

Mark’s not so much like me. He doesn’t always show his love with words and outward displays of affection. He has his own way, like putting his time, energy and love into some custom-made desk shelves. I’m impressed with his ability to just whip something like this together. He’s pretty talented this way. I am very proud. And Kacey and the girls are going to love these!

Move Away to College Day – Kacey’s Sophomore Year

And so begins Kacey’s life as a college sophomore. Over the past few days, she’s been busy making sure all of her laundry was done and all of her necessities were packed for life in a dorm room. Everything that could be was packed in the truck last night so that she could just hop in and go this morning. We were on the road by 7:00 a.m.

Kacey’s freshman year at UW Eau Claire was fine, but she quickly realized she hadn’t found the fit she was hoping for. By the end of first semester, she had completed her application for one of the University of Minnesota schools and shortly afterwards was accepted. Several close friends were already attending school there and several others were also busy applying for admission. I could tell already today that she is going to be very happy where she is.

She’s got good friends close by. Haley’s room is just two floors above. Andi, Kacey’s pal since Kindergarten, is her new roomie.

Besties!

And of course, Connor is across the hall, along with Alex, Matt and Zwick.

Where did Matt go?

The dorms are beautiful! The dorms at Eau Claire were many years old. I remember thinking they weren’t bad. After all, they were dorms. They weren’t supposed to be spacious and beautiful. But Kacey’s new dorm at her new school was built only four years ago. Her room is palatial in comparison to last year’s room!

Check out the high ceiling!

I was happy that Kacey and Andi let us moms help put the room together while the dads went off to relax in the study room. We girls had fun arranging and organizing and making the dorm room feel homey. And we laughed when we saw the girls’ bedding. They had unknowingly color coordinated their stuff.

Andi’s black bedding with teal accents and Kacey’s teal bedding with black accents

We also laughed when we poked our heads in the rooms across the hall. The boys definitely feel confident they can survive with fewer belongings than the girls.

At one point, Kacey joked that I wasn’t allowed to cry when it came time to say goodbye. I told her it had been a tough week and I was making no promises.

“Okay,” she said, understanding.

But when it came time to say goodbye, there were no tears. It was hard to feel sad when my little girl was clearly so happy. She’s surrounded by the best of friends and I know they’ll all take good care of each other. Before we left, I not only got hugs from Kacey, but from all of her friends as well. Some of them even said, “I love you,” as they hugged me. Could I ask for better people to be in my daughter’s life???

Time for the parents to go home