Happy Mothers Day – 2013

It’s hard to believe that my “babies” are all grown up now. The boys are taller than me and Kacey is nearly as tall. It doesn’t seem all that long ago that they were so little and cuddly. Now they’re living on their own, working full-time jobs and going to college.

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Brad, Jake and Kacey when they were little bundles of joy – and other things.

We celebrated Mother’s Day last weekend when they were all home for a few days. Having them all under one roof was a wonderful enough gift. But the kids couldn’t let the holiday pass without presents. They know me well and honored me with a new dog!

015bCute, isn’t he? He’s pretty low maintenance compared to Lucy Pie. He doesn’t bark at all, doesn’t eat much and doesn’t shed all over the furniture! He stands guard on the front step at all times just waiting to welcome visitors. He soaks up the sun and glows brightly at night when the sun has gone down.

My  gift also included a lovely, hanging solar sun which I placed out in the “tiki lounge” on the deck. I’m looking forward to warm summer nights, relaxing on the deck and basking in the light of my special sun!

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I can’t imagine a life in which I wasn’t a mom now . We’ve had our ups and downs throughout the years, but the highs far outweigh the lows. I look at my sons and daughter and see bits of their dad or pieces of me in their personalities and I am proud. I see all the ways they’ve tackled life’s challenges better than we did and I am even more proud. Each of them is special in their own unique way and they have taught me about love that is deeper and more profound than anything I have ever known.

And if it weren’t for the example of my own wonderful mother, I wouldn’t have had half a clue about how to be a mom to my own children.

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Me, Mom and Cori

Happy Mother’s Day to all women – moms, grandmas, aunties or otherwise – who are so important in the life of a child. The world is a better place because of you!

The Poop Egg

My kids, even though they are grown up, still like to carry on certain family traditions. Maybe it’s because they’re becoming adults. Maybe their sense of nostalgia is beginning to kick in already. Regardless, it does my heart good to see them willingly carry forward the family traditions.

In the weeks preceding Easter, Kacey reminded me several times to pick up extra eggs and a dye kit. She wanted to color Easter eggs with her brothers when everyone was home for the holiday weekend. And in spite of our sadness over the loss of our little Bella, we were doing our best to celebrate Easter. And staying busy helped keep our minds off of our heavy hearts.

Kacey and Connor cleared the table on Saturday afternoon. They spread newspaper and got out the coffee mugs, one for each dye color. Connor put a dye tablet in each and then measured the vinegar and water. When he and Kacey sat down to start working on the eggs, I heard her say, “We need to make sure we get some colorful eggs done before Jake starts mixing up the colors with his poop egg!”

I had forgotten about the poop egg and Kacey’s mention of it made me smile. Every year since the kids were little, Jake has made it his mission to use every single dye color on a single egg. At times, this resulted in drastic and beautiful Easter eggs. Other times? Well… that’s how the name poop egg came to be. This year’s egg was not artistic. It was poopy. But the Easter egg bounty wouldn’t have been the same without it.

Poop Egg

The eggs were finished in plenty of time for Easter, not that anyone ate a single one of them. I don’t care. My big kids coloring Easter eggs at the kitchen table is a happy memory from an otherwise difficult weekend.

We had brunch with my extended family on Easter Sunday. It was a typical, loud and frenzied celebration. When it was over, Brad and Heather went back home, stopping by her parents’ place on the way. Kacey and Connor went to his family’s Easter celebration before they went back to school. Mark went back to bed to get some sleep before working the night shift and Jake disappeared. I put my comfy pants and sweatshirt on and Lucy and I settled comfortably in the living room in front of the t.v. for the remainder of the day.

And that’s when the loss of Bella really hit me. I had myself a good cry for a while. Lucy never left my side. I’d like to think she knew I needed her comfort. And maybe she did. But I knew she was just exhausted as well. She was worn out from a weekend of running and playing with Dacotah.

Lucy Tired

As for the Easter eggs, I used them to make potato salad to have with our dinner tonight. I didn’t use the poop egg, though. Somehow that just seemed wrong.

And as for the poop egg-maker, he’s 22 years old today! Happy Birthday, Jake!

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Only 119 days until summer break begins

I’m sure for many others, that holiday feeling faded away almost two weeks ago, once the holiday celebrations had all become a thing of the past. I too have returned to the routine of everyday life, but for me, the “ordinary” doldrums were kept at bay while my baby has been home from college.

I always say that I’m not sure what I might have done to be blessed with such good kids. Believe me, I certainly didn’t earn these blessings with my own behavior in my younger days. My three have very distinct and different personalities, for sure, but between them, there is diligence, confidence, good humor and compassion. There have definitely been highs and lows as we’ve watched them grow, but I am so proud of the people my children have become.

Now that they are grown and working toward lives of their own, the house is so much quieter than it ever was. Yes, they are each still in transition to their adult lives, but the two boys are well on their way to independence, only leaning on us here and there at times such as when facing a particular situation for the very first time. (Brad called last week for help understanding his employee benefit offerings.) Kacey’s ties to home are still a bit more secure, but as a college sophomore, I know those ties loosen a bit more with each passing day. It’s no secret that some of the highlights of my days are those times when the kids come home to stay for any length of time.

For the past four weeks that Kacey has been home from school, it’s often her voice or face that greets me when I come home from work. She’s so full of enthusiasm and energy for life, she’s just a joy to be around. She has such a knack for finding the silver lining in every situation and has an easy ability to laugh at herself and help me not to take myself so seriously. (Really, sometimes I wonder who’s the adult and who’s the child here!)

The dogs are always happy when their favorite cuddler is home too.

The dogs are always happy when their favorite cuddler is home too.

I remember my own years at Kacey’s age. My mom and I did whatever possible to steer clear of one another. She (wisely) knew there was no winning with me and I was too cool and too perpetually annoyed with my life to reach below the surface with her. I’m happy to say that, eventually I did some growing up and Mom and I have made up for lost time, but now I’m sorry I couldn’t give her what Kacey has given me.

Spending time with my daughter is one of my favorite things. Just yesterday, as we were greeting the day in that weekend way, slow and lazy, she said, “You should make us some omelets with peppers in ‘em.” It was long ago decided that I am the best omelet maker in the house and breakfast being one of my favorite meals, I easily agreed to Kacey’s suggestion. As it turns out, there were no peppers in the refrigerator, but we did find some ham and cheese and some breakfast potatoes.

“I think I’ll put some chopped onion in mine,” I mentioned.

“If you saute’ them first, I’ll have some too,” she said.

Simple, little things I learn from her sometimes. I’d never in the past sautéed my onions before putting them in my omelets. Turns out I really liked them!

Together, we made a mess of the kitchen, the end result being steaming, cheesy, overstuffed omelets that were almost too big for either of us to finish. We should have split one! But sitting together at the table, enjoying our over-sized breakfasts, talking, laughing at how the dogs never give up begging for a bite of “people“ food they’re not going to get… it’s the kind of precious moment I look forward to more as opportunities grow fewer.

I’ve loved having Kacey home the past four weeks, and not only because she’s the one family member who might notice the dishwasher needs emptying and just take it upon herself to just do it without being asked. She’s my ray of sunshine, always anxious to share her stories with me, making me laugh, or wanting me to watch a chick flick with her. I feel honored that at her age, she carves time out of her busy life for me. My world can feel a bit empty at times. She reminds me that I’m wrong. My life is overflowing.

My holidays come to an end today. Second semester is starting tomorrow and it’s time for Kacey to go back to school. But I get to ease back into the old and sometimes boring routine. Her college isn’t all that far away. She can come home often, and I’m happy that she does. Next weekend is the home opener for the Minnesota Wild and Kacey and Connor are big fans. Now that the NHL season is finally starting this year, they plan to be at that first game. They’ll be back home in just a few short days! Think I’ll stock up on some fresh red and yellow peppers before next weekend rolls around.

If you ever wanted to be a fly on my wall…

Not surprisingly, I’ve been asked several times recently how my holidays were. That’s what we do after the holidays, isn’t it? We ask our friends if they had a good Christmas and New Years. And I was just thinking today that my Christmas was really good. Family times … well, they have their ups and downs. Sometimes the holidays leave a lasting impression, and not always for the right reasons.

My family, though? When we’re at our best, we laugh… and we laugh hard. This video is really poor, but you get the gist of it. If you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall of our family gatherings, this is what you’d see.

… My brothers mixing up a combination of impersonations, eighties rock music and making up new lyrics to old songs.

… The nephews, thinking I was simply snapping a photo, posing in the background and waiting for me to say, “Got it.”

… A little bit of alcohol.

… A lot of food, especially French Silk pie, (not pecan pie.)

… An abundance of silliness.

… And lots and lots of laughter…

I love that my brother-in-law said, “And we’re eating not pecan pie! … Wait, did I just say ‘not pecan pie?’ Who am I? Yoda?”

That just put us over the edge!

My brothers would probably kill me if they knew I was posting this video online. But I think they’d forgive me if I told them how much I loved spending this time with them on Christmas Eve.

Well, that was FUN!

The guest bedroom is vacant again and the house is quiet for the first time in four days. Brad and Heather have packed up and headed back home again. A new year has begun and after more than a month of preparations and celebrations, it’s time to start getting back to routine.

It was a full and happy long weekend at our house. My family was a bit scattered over Christmas, but the New Year’s weekend provided the perfect opportunity for all of us to gather together. We celebrated our Christmas on Saturday and it was wonderful. We had nowhere else to go, no other obligations to worry about. We made it all about us. I told the kids I would make whatever they wanted to eat. Turkey dinner? That amazing lasagna we all love? They requested hors d’oeuvres and made it easy on me. Gifts were shared. A particular wish was granted for each. Each of the kids received a Mad Bomber hat. No one requested one, but everyone loved them. They put them on and Lucy barked in confusion at the strange furry things on their heads.

Warm winter wear

Warm winter wear

Happiness and good cheer was abundant!

Brad was happy with his new goose decoys.

Brad was happy with his new goose decoys.

Kacey had a smile even though she wasn't feeling so well.

Kacey had a smile even though she wasn’t feeling so well.

Jake enjoyed a tall glass of chocolate milk.

Jake enjoyed a tall glass of chocolate milk.

I love when all the kids are home. We do things to feed the soul, things that slip by the wayside in the midst of our daily routines. We make big, hot breakfasts and eat together at the table. We lounge around and watch movies and play with the dogs. We talk to each other and remember how good it feels to be together.

I’ve not adjusted easily to the fact that my kids have grown up and are beginning lives of their own. I’ve often missed the days of knowing they were all safe under my roof, of knowing they needed me and that I was there to protect them. But this weekend, a sense of understanding and acceptance came over me. It came with the sweet sound of my boys talking to one another, ribbing each other, with good nature in their voices. At 21 and 23 years old, they are coming to accept one another for both their differences and their similarities. I listened to their conversation from the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt. I waited for something to break down as always seems to happen. I waited for one to move away from the other in frustration, but that moment didn’t come. My boys have grown up and I think I like it.

We took time to sit back and relax, but there was also much to do. Brad made time to get together with a long-time friend whom he hadn’t seen in much too long. I too carved out time to be with my best friend who was in town for a few days. New Years Eve was coming and the party was at our house this year. Kacey was a godsend. Because of my still-aching back, (pinched nerve, I think) and knowing that I get a bit crazy as I prepare to entertain, she made herself available to do whatever I needed her to do. She’s growing up too, and that means I miss her a lot. But I am really proud of the adult she has become.

We had such a good time, and as expected, it all went by too fast. The Christmas tree is still up and I think I’ll leave it until next weekend. It’s so pretty and I’m in no hurry to take it down just yet.

I tend to get the blues after the holidays have passed. My focus before the holidays gets so centered on being with family and the happiness and fun that the holidays bring. It’s hard to go back to the same old same old. And I’ve realized that I feel the worst when I have nothing to work towards and nothing to look forward to. So maybe some resolutions are in order – nothing too rigid – just some things that need continued improvement.

So I’m resolving to get back into a good routine at the gym. I’ve been a slacker of late. I got sick over Thanksgiving weekend and I let it keep me out of the gym for more than a week. That chest cold hung on for weeks and even when I got back to the gym, there were days I just gave in to the urge for an extra hour of rest instead. And then came the back pain and there were days I couldn’t get out of bed without assistance, much less go run on a treadmill. It’s eased up now, and I think getting these muscles back to work will help heal me completely. And once that happens, I want to just push myself harder than before and get into better shape.

Last year I resolved to cook more and eat better. I made some improvement, but I’ve still got a long way to go. As I began to improve my cooking skills I realized that I needed better tools in my kitchen. I’ve added some cookware and better utensils and they deserve to be put to use. So I’m going to work on better meal planning and learning to say no when Mark says, “Should we just order a pizza?”

I don’t want to set unrealistic expectations, so I only have two other resolutions. Read more. Write more. These are two things that bring me serious fulfillment. They deserve more effort.

So while it is hard to say goodbye to my kids as they go back to their lives, I’m not going to dwell on the sadness it brings. I’ll look forward to the next time and while I wait, I’ll give myself things to work toward. But today? I’m dedicating today to some serious lounging!

Lucy Lounging

… and so is Lucy …

 

Happy New Year, all!

Christmas Activities

Wow, this blog has been sadly neglected. The Kitchen Aid, however, has been getting a workout. Kacey and I have been baking Christmas cookies.

Chocolate Crinkles

Chocolate Crinkles

Peanut Blossoms

Peanut Blossoms

Spritz Cookies

Spritz Cookies

The Spritz cookies were made with my grandma’s cookie press. It worked like a charm!

Old-fashioned, but still works great!

Old-fashioned, but still works great!

And we used Grandma’s recipe too.

A TYPED recipe card!

A TYPED recipe card!

And we used Mark’s grandma’s recipe for these Sugar Cookies…

Frosted Sugar Cookies

Frosted Sugar Cookies

We’re almost done with our baking. I’m almost done with my shopping. There is still much wrapping to be done. And then hopefully I’ll have time to write about a really important event. If you’ve got connections with Santa’s elves, please send some my way. I could use a helping hand.

Christmas Radio

One of our local radio stations goes to an all Christmas music format starting just before  Thanksgiving and continuing through Christmas day. I can’t get into it before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving should get it’s due before Christmas takes over. But by the day after Thanksgiving, I’m all about Christmas. So after Thanksgiving, I’m the one you see in morning rush hour, singing happily along to the Christmas tunes in my car. And I am a GREAT singer… when I’m all alone in my car and no one can hear me but me!

So I was listening on my way to work yesterday morning and  We Three Kings was playing and I kind of liked this version. It was different and modern. And when I hear a song I like, I want to know who’s singing it. My car stereo has the function where it will display a song title and artist, if they are available. But there was no display for We Three Kings. So I thought to myself, “This sounds like Sarah McLachlan,” which wasn’t a tough guess because who couldn’t pick out Sarah McLachlan’s voice? It’s pretty unique. But she was singing with someone else, and I said to myself, “This sounds like Sarah McLachlan and the Barenaked Ladies.”

And I was pretty impressed with myself when I realized I was right. I know I was right because I heard it again today and this time the d.j. announced that it was Sarah McLachlan and the Barenaked Ladies. And is it just me, or is something just a little wrong with a group named Barenaked Ladies singing about the birth of Christ?

What I really love about listening to Christmas music though, is hearing all of the great artists from years gone by. There’s a cool version of Baby it’s Cold Outside where Martina McBride added her vocals to Dean Martin’s 1959 recording of the song.

Come to think about it, that’s not really a Christmas song, is it? It’s kind of a …. umm… lusty song. But it’s a great song! So many artists have recorded it.  And there’s just something about Dean Martin singing Christmas songs. Or Tony Bennet. Or Nat King Cole or Bing Crosby. The way they sing sometimes makes me wish I could have experienced Christmas in their day.

Then again, Christmas today has its benefits. I remember when I was a kid, we’d stack my parents’ Christmas albums on the turntable and listen to one album at a time and then we’d have to flip them over to hear the other sides. Now I can put all my Christmas music on my iPod and listen to it for hours if I want. I have a HUGE collection of Christmas music. I listen to it all – the old stuff, the new stuff and everything in between.

Just a few of my other favorites:

And for some reason, this duo remains a long-time family tradition at Christmas time. I don’t know why, but we love these guys. I think they just remind my siblings and me of those Christmas Eve gatherings at our grandparents home. My goofy uncle would put this album on the hi-fi and we’d listen and giggle while we waited for the moms to finish the dishes from our Christmas Eve dinner sand then it would be time to open presents!

What about you? Got any favorite Christmas tunes?

Just the kind of holiday I was hoping for…

Another Thanksgiving Day has come and gone. We spent the day itself with most of Mark’s family at his sister’s house. Not surprisingly, we ate too much. There were a few highlights to the day. I got to hold and play with the newest member of the family, our great-nephew, Mitch. I enjoyed an apple cider and bourbon drink before dinner and a slice of chocolate pecan pie afterwards. And as the festivities ended, big, sticky, wet snowflakes flurried down from the sky. I still have this sweet picture in my mind of Mitch in his mommy’s arms as she stood on the back porch. He gazed out into the world, watching in wonder as he witnessed his very first snowfall.

Later on back at home, Heather paged through the day’s newspaper and pulled out the sale ads. I heard her teasingly ask Brad if he wanted to go shopping at Target when they opened up at 9:00 pm. Brad’s not interested in shopping any day, much less willing to battle crazed bargain hunters on Thanksgiving night. But after Heather continued to tease him about taking her shopping, I got the sense that she really wanted to go. And when I asked her if she was serious, she admitted that she and her mom and sister always do the crazy Black Friday shopping thing. I felt bad that Heather was not only missing her own family, but sacrificing a family tradition to be with us. I contemplated volunteering for the excursion. There’s a Target store practically out my back door, so I asked if she wanted me with her. She was thrilled!  I’ve never done this kind of shopping before and can I just say? … Holy Schnikeys!  If I ever do that again, I’m wearing combat boots. Some lady rammed me in the heels with her shopping cart. For what, I’m not sure but I hope it was worth it. But Heather got the things she was looking for, so it was worth it in my book. Definitely an adventure!

The rest of the weekend was much more relaxing. I slept in each day. I think the chest cold that set in on Friday morning contributed to that habit. Kacey, Heather and I did a little more shopping. We cooked dinners and ate late and watched movies in the living room to which I fell asleep. On Saturday, we put the Christmas tree up. The kids had such fun decorating it. They’ve each got a big box full of ornaments given to them each year by various relatives. There’s no room on the tree for all of them. With each ornament that was pulled from the boxes, there was a memory to accompany it. They were being silly together and it was so good to listen to their laughter.

My only real goal for the weekend was to get a picture of all of us together. As the kids have grown up, it’s a rare occasion when we’re all together. I told the kids that I didn’t really care how they were dressed as long as they were neat and clean. While we waited for Mark to come home from work on Saturday night, Heather asked for a picture of her, Brad and Dacotah.

Brad, Dacotah and Heather

So then, Connor decided that he should have a similar photo with his dog and girlfriend.

Connor, Bella and Kacey

And then we still had some time to kill, so I made the boys pose with their dogs.

Connor & Bella, Brad & Dacotah, Jake and Lucy

And then we realized that before Mark got home from work, we should probably figure out where we had room to take a picture of seven people in this little house. Kacey thought it might be cool to get one of all of us sitting on the half flight of stairs. It quickly became obvious there was no way seven adults were going to fit in this space. So someone called out, “Roller Coaster!”  And … yeah …

Jake seems to have missed the Roller Coaster memo…

But in the end, we did manage to get a picture of all of us together.

Kacey, Connor, Mark, Jake, me, Brad, Heather

Which was nice, since no one could manage to behave themselves for long.

Oh well! If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

Oh, yeah! There’s one for the Christmas card!

Obviously, we had fun. It was exactly what I was hoping for this Thanksgiving holiday!

Thanksgiving Time is Here

Had a few shopping errands to run this weekend so Mark and I found ourselves in several stores this afternoon. It’s clear that as far as the retail world is concerned, Christmas time is here. I just can’t get all that excited about it yet. I’m just not in that big of a hurry. I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving, and not simply because it’s a passage to the Christmas season. I like Thanksgiving. I love the holiday feeling it brings without all the hurry and rush.

I’m fortunate to work for a company that shuts down operations and gives employees time off, not only for Thanksgiving Day but the day after as well. My kids who are away at school will be coming home and I’m anxiously awaiting the happy chaos that fills the house when everyone is here. I’ll have four wonderful days to enjoy having them all back in the fold again. We’ll celebrate Thanksgiving with Mark’s family at his sister’s house. And I’m sure we’ll all overeat and come home exhausted.

After Thanksgiving, the next three days are ours.  I love to stay up late at night with the kids, watching movies and talking and laughing, knowing I won’t have to wake up to an alarm clock. I love to wake up in the morning and know that they’ll be here to spend lazy mornings with me, sitting in our pajamas, eating big breakfasts and drinking coffee.

And maybe the weather has a little something to do with my mood too. It’s been a beautiful, warm weekend. Rather unseasonable for this time of year, you might even say. The weather man says it’s going to continue through Thursday. When I drive through the neighborhoods, so many of the homes are still displaying their fall decor. There are pumpkins everywhere and it makes me want to bake. Something… pumpkin-y! So today I did just that. Don’t these look good?

Trust me. They are delicious!

No, I’m not ready to immerse myself in the Christmas season just yet. This week is Thanksgiving season and I play to enjoy it to the fullest.

You’re never too old to carve a jack-o-lantern

Kacey and Connor came home from school for the weekend. Both were craving some home cooking! Connor’s grandma made him a special meal of barbecued ribs. Kacey had asked for Mexican Chicken Corn Chowder. She got her wish too.

While at the grocery store on Friday night to pick up some of the necessary ingredients, Kacey mentioned that she wanted to carve pumpkins. Her friend, Amanda was home from her school for the weekend and they wanted to make a little party of it. So we bought chowder ingredients and pumpkins.

Saturday afternoon, the kids gathered at the kitchen table and went to work.

Scoopin’ the “guts” out

Kacey generated a pattern on the computer for her pumpkin.

Connor worked on a shape of the state of Minnesota.

Amanda created a pretty elaborate spider web pattern.

I made a caramel corn snack mix while the kids worked.

Proof that you’re never too old to have this kind of fun.

The finished jack-o-lanterns

The kids talked while they worked. Amanda is having boyfriend problems and she didn’t seem to mind my presence as Kacey and Connor offered her sympathy and advice. I marveled over the fact that they are grown-up enough to be in love, grown-up enough to offer mature perspectives to one another, grown-up enough to manage college and vote and balance a checking account, and yet, they could still make an afternoon out of pumpkin carving. Once again, I was reminded how lucky I am to have such good “kids” in my life.