OH.MY.GOD.

I was just on the verge of writing about the breakfast I cooked today – a recipe from my new cookbook called egg-in-a-hole, to which Kacey’s response was, “Holy butter!” …

And then something so unbelievable happened that I’m still trying to grasp the fact that it really did happen!

As we were eating (guiltily) Kacey was filling me in on her plans for the day. “… Can I go to the hockey game at 3:00?… and is it okay if I pick up Hail?… might go tubing at Green Acres after the game…”

I was listening, processing what she was saying, figuring out whether I needed my car today and was on the verge of giving the okay to Kacey, when Jake spoke up from under a pile of blankets in the living room. (He’s been sick and over the past few days, he just wanders from bed to love seat to recliner with his blankets, pillow and water bottle.)

“Kacey,” he said. “Why don’t you just take my car, and that way if Mom has to go somewhere, she can just take her own car.”

I stopped chewing my breakfast and looked over at the top of my son’s head where he lay in the living room. He was obviously completely unaware of the level of shock he had just instilled.

I looked over at Kacey and her eyes were wide with disbelief and a smile began to creep over her face. My youngest son, her brother had just offered her the use of his new (used) car, the one for which he saved his money so diligently and the one about which he made it clear belongs to him, and him alone, not to be touched by anyone else. Ever. End of story. Don’t even ask.

Jake had just casually offered his sister the use of his car without so much as blinking an eye and without want for anything in return. Such a gesture of generosity has NEVER before been offered from one of my children to another. Generally speaking, to put it mildly, my children are less than fond of their siblings and they spend their days trying to out-do one another in the getting-under-the-skin department.

I waited and watched for any sign that Jake’s offer was really just a cruel joke, but he gave no inclination that the offer would be rescinded.

What is happening here? Who is this young man in my living room and what has he done with my son? Maybe it was the breakfast I made him. Maybe sinful amounts of butter consumption cause feelings of great generosity! Maybe he’s much sicker than I thought!

I don’t usually believe in miracles, but this could quite possibly change my mind. Whatever it is, I like it. I will be cautiously watching for more signs that the hateful years are on their way out the door. I’ll keep you posted.

 

Braggy McBraggart

Sorry. I just have to. This is too good not to share.

So I went to the doctor recently for a physical. There was a blood test, mainly to check that my kidney is functioning appropriately. (It is.)

I had a particular issue to address at this visit with my doctor. Not to worry. It was nothing life threatening or even mildly alarming. Just an annoyance I wanted taken care of. So I was referred to another doctor and the results of my blood test were sent to her office.

Monday, I went to my appointment with the new doctor and upon introducing herself to me, she declared, “I think you have the best cholesterol I’ve ever seen. Obviously you take very good care of yourself!”

I thought back to the card I received in the mail with the results of my blood test:

Total Cholesterol – 190. Normal = under 200

Triglycerides (fats) – 69. Normal = under 150

HDL (good cholesterol) – 87. Normal = over 39

LDL (bad cholesterol) – 86. Normal = under 130

I was momentarily confused. I wondered if my sporadic gym visits, in which I am diligent for a couple of weeks before slacking off for two or three weeks could be considered taking good care of myself. (Okay, that was maybe just in December when I got sick and then became consumed with holiday preparations. I do try to make it to the gym on a somewhat regular basis. But I am far from what you would call disciplined.)

Were my stellar cholesterol levels the result of the sodium laden Lean Cuisines I eat for lunch,  alternated with visits to Arby’s, where the potato cakes are deliciously greasy and salty? Or Asian Express where, when you order Sesame Chicken, they give you about two pounds of chicken in a delicious caramelized sauce? Plus a huge scoop of rice. Plus egg roll.  (Oooh. I might need to go there tomorrow.)

Wait a minute! Maybe the benefits of bowling are much greater than anyone could have ever believed! That’s got to be it! Everyone should bowl at least once a week, a minimum of three games per bowling alley visit. And don’t forget to drink a few beers. My preference is Michelob Golden Light, but feel free to substitute with your beer of choice. Joining a league and wearing an ugly shirt every week are optional, and not likely to contribute in any beneficial way to your cholesterol levels. But they are fun options. Just a suggestion. (My bowling scores continue to improve with the new bowling ball, by the way. Thanks for asking!)

I don’t know. Really, the only meal I ever eat that I can honestly claim to eat somewhat healthy-like is breakfast. That’s because I have to bring breakfast to work and I force myself to have some fruit and oatmeal. And once I’m there, I have no other choice than to eat what I brought. Not that I’m always happy about it. Lunch is a crap-shoot, as you can see. And dinner? Ranges anywhere from a balanced meal (rare) to breakfast food (semi-frequently) to Christmas cookies (seasonally) to grazing on whatever finger foods are available throughout the evening (most often).

These thoughts all floated through my brain as the doctor was still singing the praises of my healthy lifestyle.

I just smiled. Healthy? Nah. Lucky is more like it. Somewhere in the gene pool, there must be some good ones, and I was fortunate to get just the right combination.

Of course now that I’ve just spelled out the particulars of my “healthy” lifestyle, I’m thoroughly disgusted with myself and not naive enough to think I can keep this up without any ill effects.

See where bragging gets you? Guess I won’t be going to Asian Express tomorrow. Dang.