Happy Mothers Day – 2013

It’s hard to believe that my “babies” are all grown up now. The boys are taller than me and Kacey is nearly as tall. It doesn’t seem all that long ago that they were so little and cuddly. Now they’re living on their own, working full-time jobs and going to college.

Brad, Jake and Kacey when they were little bundles of joy – and other things.

We celebrated Mother’s Day last weekend when they were all home for a few days. Having them all under one roof was a wonderful enough gift. But the kids couldn’t let the holiday pass without presents. They know me well and honored me with a new dog!

Cute, isn’t he? He’s pretty low maintenance compared to Lucy Pie. He doesn’t bark at all, doesn’t eat much and doesn’t shed all over the furniture! He stands guard on the front step at all times just waiting to welcome visitors. He soaks up the sun and glows brightly at night when the sun has gone down.

My  gift also included a lovely, hanging solar sun which I placed out in the “tiki lounge” on the deck. I’m looking forward to warm summer nights, relaxing on the deck and basking in the light of my special sun!

I can’t imagine a life in which I wasn’t a mom now . We’ve had our ups and downs throughout the years, but the highs far outweigh the lows. I look at my sons and daughter and see bits of their dad or pieces of me in their personalities and I am proud. I see all the ways they’ve tackled life’s challenges better than we did and I am even more proud. Each of them is special in their own unique way and they have taught me about love that is deeper and more profound than anything I have ever known.

And if it weren’t for the example of my own wonderful mother, I wouldn’t have had half a clue about how to be a mom to my own children.

Me, Mom and Cori

Happy Mother’s Day to all women – moms, grandmas, aunties or otherwise – who are so important in the life of a child. The world is a better place because of you!

A Weekend with the Family

One nice thing about the kids growing up is that they’ve realized they actually like each other. Kacey had plans to come home from school on Friday for the weekend. The school year will be done in only one more week, but Connor had a job interview on Friday and they both decided to use the trip home to move as much stuff out of their dorms as possible before the semester is officially over. Before they came home, Kacey texted me to make sure this was the same weekend that Brad and Heather were coming home for a visit. I confirmed that it was. I like that it is important to her that her visits are timed to coincide with Brad’s.  There were a lot of years when I wondered if my kids would ever get along.

I took the day off from work on Friday. I wanted to get the house cleaned up, do the grocery shopping, and have a nice dinner waiting on all the kids when they arrived home. I thought I might sleep in a little bit on Friday morning but no such luck. My body has apparently developed an internal clock that awakens me early even when I don’t have to be up.

Oh well. Figured I might as well get started on the day’s chores as long as I was up. And the weather made it easy for me to be stuck inside being all domestic and such. And the day was not without excitement. The new street light was installed across the street in Neighbor Bob’s yard. Now Mark can stop leaving our house lights on all night long in an attempt to compensate for the lack of municipal lighting that resulted from the demise of the previous street light. (Boy, the things you miss being stuck in an office all day!)

By late afternoon, the house was clean and the kitchen was well-stocked with food that would appeal to hungry young people. I had a big batch of chicken chow mein cooking when they all arrived home right around dinner time. And except for Jake, who fell asleep after work due to still making the adjustment from night owl to early bird, we all enjoyed a nice meal together at the kitchen table.

Later on, we decided to watch a movie together in the living room. Long before it was over, Brad, Heather and I had fallen asleep and only woke up long enough to go to bed for the night. We all start our days before the sun rises. There comes a point in the evening where, if I’ve stopped moving, I’m probably falling asleep. Apparently the same holds true for Brad and Heather. Mark had a good laugh at our expense. Easy for him to laugh! He doesn’t get up early unless absolutely necessary!

The weather changed over from snow to freezing rain on Friday and then to just regular old rain, gray skies and a chill on Saturday. I made pancakes for breakfast and tried mine Heather’s way – with peanut butter and maple syrup. They were delicious! The weather made us people feel lazy, but not the dogs. Lucy and Dacotah raced and chased and played tug-o-war in the back yard with the doggie frisbee until they were completely wiped out.

On Saturday night, Mark and I had our bowling banquet for our Saturday league. The kids were probably getting sick of hanging out with us old people anyway, so it was good that we got away for a while. And considering that I felt like my game had really suffered in the second half of the season, I was surprised to learn that I’d earned some awards! I was recognized for achieving:

• a 225 game
• a 500 series
• 75 pins over average
• the league high women’s average of 153
• the women’s high game of 247

All in all, it was a fun night and we enjoyed good food and good company. Most of our bowling friends were going to continue celebrating after the banquet ended, but we called it an early night so we could get back home to spend more time with the kids. They had a little celebration of their own while we were gone. They’d found some good steaks in our freezer and cooked them on the grill. They added some baked potatoes and veggies and enjoyed a nice dinner themselves.

Sunday morning was lazy. Brad, Heather and I were up early (as usual.) The dogs know which people to wake up when it’s time to start their day. We sat in the living room watching t.v., sipping coffee and showering the dogs with attention. Before long, it was noon and time for Brad and Heather to head back to Fargo. We said our goodbyes just as the sun was coming out of hiding and the air was beginning to warm.

Kacey would be home a while longer. She helped us clean up the gardens in the back yard and install some fencing around them to keep Lucy out – because she refuses to believe that the gardens are not a part of her domain! It had warmed up so much since Friday’s snow that we were out in t-shirts and Kacey and I had bare feet! Our next door neighbors were outside too, enjoying the sun and doing some gardening in their own yard. Their new family member, Gracie was outside and Lucy was anxious to get to know her. Gracie was a little shy though.

While we got our gardens all neat and tidy, Lucy chased up and down the fence trying to get Gracie’s attention. Gracie began to warm up and I’m sure they’ll be great friends soon enough!

We had an early dinner and Kacey’s ride came to pick her up. We hugged goodbye and the house got quiet again. Brad and Heather plan to visit again in a month. Kacey will be home for the summer by the end of the week. Lucy was sad to see them go, but I think the break will do her good. Clearly she wore herself out!

 

Family Time

It was one of those weekends, with kids home for a few days and dogs everywhere. I love these weekends.

Brad and Heather arrived early Friday evening. Dacotah came charging into the house, looking for her pals, Lucy and Bella. The place was bursting with canine excitement. The kids were hungry after the four-hour drive. Mark and I took them out to a local burger place for dinner. Everyone was tired after a long week, Heather especially. She works full-time and goes to school full-time. Brad’s workday begins as early as 3:00 am some days. We were all falling asleep in the living room before ten o’clock.

Saturday began lazily. Brad found some venison bacon in the freezer and since it is my policy not to cook wild game, Mark made the big, hot, weekend breakfast for a change. And he is a messy cook, I’ll just say. The food was pretty good, though I realized I’m not a fan of venison bacon.

Later on, Heather went to meet a friend for lunch. Mark and Brad did some chores outside. Since they were using the snow blower, Mark decided to clear some paths in the back yard so the dogs could run more freely in all that snow. The dogs loved it. Lucy and Dacotah raced and played all afternoon long. Old Lady Bella mostly watched from the deck.

Saturday night was bowling night, and we went out for dinner again, this time to meet the bowling gang. Brad and Heather came along and endured many questions from our bowling friends about when they were going to “make it official.” Brad assured everyone that the search for a ring is officially on. This makes me very happy.

Bowling was uneventful and our team lost. We finished early because our team mates were absent and that worked out nicely because Mark and I had a surprise 50th birthday party to attend for my friend and coworker, Lori. We dropped the kids back at home and then headed to the American Legion to catch up with the other partiers. The place was packed, but we found Lori and the other guests pretty quickly. We enjoyed a couple of hours with some of my current and former coworkers and spouses. We had a good time. Lori had a really good time, judging from the fact that she hugged me goodbye and told me she loved me twice as we were leaving!

I woke up this morning wondering how it got to be Sunday already. It’s true what they say that time flies when you’re having fun. I knew the kids would be leaving around noon. When they leave here, they usually make a stop at Heather’s parents’ house on the way back home.

We lounged around for a while this morning, reading the paper, watching t.v., sipping coffee and everyone finding their own breakfast if they wanted some. The dogs enjoyed some pampering. Bella is not opposed to being treated like a baby, in spite of her advanced years. Brad proved that no matter how much he’s grown up, he still can’t let me take a picture of him without doing something goofy in the process. (Hence the crazy eyes!)

When they were gone again, the house got too quiet. I found myself hoping that one day soon, when they have their “real” jobs and have found a home to settle down in, that those jobs and that home will be close to this home – so they can visit more often! Hey – a mom can hope!

Only 119 days until summer break begins

I’m sure for many others, that holiday feeling faded away almost two weeks ago, once the holiday celebrations had all become a thing of the past. I too have returned to the routine of everyday life, but for me, the “ordinary” doldrums were kept at bay while my baby has been home from college.

I always say that I’m not sure what I might have done to be blessed with such good kids. Believe me, I certainly didn’t earn these blessings with my own behavior in my younger days. My three have very distinct and different personalities, for sure, but between them, there is diligence, confidence, good humor and compassion. There have definitely been highs and lows as we’ve watched them grow, but I am so proud of the people my children have become.

Now that they are grown and working toward lives of their own, the house is so much quieter than it ever was. Yes, they are each still in transition to their adult lives, but the two boys are well on their way to independence, only leaning on us here and there at times such as when facing a particular situation for the very first time. (Brad called last week for help understanding his employee benefit offerings.) Kacey’s ties to home are still a bit more secure, but as a college sophomore, I know those ties loosen a bit more with each passing day. It’s no secret that some of the highlights of my days are those times when the kids come home to stay for any length of time.

For the past four weeks that Kacey has been home from school, it’s often her voice or face that greets me when I come home from work. She’s so full of enthusiasm and energy for life, she’s just a joy to be around. She has such a knack for finding the silver lining in every situation and has an easy ability to laugh at herself and help me not to take myself so seriously. (Really, sometimes I wonder who’s the adult and who’s the child here!)

The dogs are always happy when their favorite cuddler is home too.

I remember my own years at Kacey’s age. My mom and I did whatever possible to steer clear of one another. She (wisely) knew there was no winning with me and I was too cool and too perpetually annoyed with my life to reach below the surface with her. I’m happy to say that, eventually I did some growing up and Mom and I have made up for lost time, but now I’m sorry I couldn’t give her what Kacey has given me.

Spending time with my daughter is one of my favorite things. Just yesterday, as we were greeting the day in that weekend way, slow and lazy, she said, “You should make us some omelets with peppers in ‘em.” It was long ago decided that I am the best omelet maker in the house and breakfast being one of my favorite meals, I easily agreed to Kacey’s suggestion. As it turns out, there were no peppers in the refrigerator, but we did find some ham and cheese and some breakfast potatoes.

“I think I’ll put some chopped onion in mine,” I mentioned.

“If you saute’ them first, I’ll have some too,” she said.

Simple, little things I learn from her sometimes. I’d never in the past sautéed my onions before putting them in my omelets. Turns out I really liked them!

Together, we made a mess of the kitchen, the end result being steaming, cheesy, overstuffed omelets that were almost too big for either of us to finish. We should have split one! But sitting together at the table, enjoying our over-sized breakfasts, talking, laughing at how the dogs never give up begging for a bite of “people“ food they’re not going to get… it’s the kind of precious moment I look forward to more as opportunities grow fewer.

I’ve loved having Kacey home the past four weeks, and not only because she’s the one family member who might notice the dishwasher needs emptying and just take it upon herself to just do it without being asked. She’s my ray of sunshine, always anxious to share her stories with me, making me laugh, or wanting me to watch a chick flick with her. I feel honored that at her age, she carves time out of her busy life for me. My world can feel a bit empty at times. She reminds me that I’m wrong. My life is overflowing.

My holidays come to an end today. Second semester is starting tomorrow and it’s time for Kacey to go back to school. But I get to ease back into the old and sometimes boring routine. Her college isn’t all that far away. She can come home often, and I’m happy that she does. Next weekend is the home opener for the Minnesota Wild and Kacey and Connor are big fans. Now that the NHL season is finally starting this year, they plan to be at that first game. They’ll be back home in just a few short days! Think I’ll stock up on some fresh red and yellow peppers before next weekend rolls around.

Well, that was FUN!

The guest bedroom is vacant again and the house is quiet for the first time in four days. Brad and Heather have packed up and headed back home again. A new year has begun and after more than a month of preparations and celebrations, it’s time to start getting back to routine.

It was a full and happy long weekend at our house. My family was a bit scattered over Christmas, but the New Year’s weekend provided the perfect opportunity for all of us to gather together. We celebrated our Christmas on Saturday and it was wonderful. We had nowhere else to go, no other obligations to worry about. We made it all about us. I told the kids I would make whatever they wanted to eat. Turkey dinner? That amazing lasagna we all love? They requested hors d’oeuvres and made it easy on me. Gifts were shared. A particular wish was granted for each. Each of the kids received a Mad Bomber hat. No one requested one, but everyone loved them. They put them on and Lucy barked in confusion at the strange furry things on their heads.

Warm winter wear

Happiness and good cheer was abundant!

Brad was happy with his new goose decoys.

Kacey had a smile even though she wasn’t feeling so well.

Jake enjoyed a tall glass of chocolate milk.

I love when all the kids are home. We do things to feed the soul, things that slip by the wayside in the midst of our daily routines. We make big, hot breakfasts and eat together at the table. We lounge around and watch movies and play with the dogs. We talk to each other and remember how good it feels to be together.

I’ve not adjusted easily to the fact that my kids have grown up and are beginning lives of their own. I’ve often missed the days of knowing they were all safe under my roof, of knowing they needed me and that I was there to protect them. But this weekend, a sense of understanding and acceptance came over me. It came with the sweet sound of my boys talking to one another, ribbing each other, with good nature in their voices. At 21 and 23 years old, they are coming to accept one another for both their differences and their similarities. I listened to their conversation from the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt. I waited for something to break down as always seems to happen. I waited for one to move away from the other in frustration, but that moment didn’t come. My boys have grown up and I think I like it.

We took time to sit back and relax, but there was also much to do. Brad made time to get together with a long-time friend whom he hadn’t seen in much too long. I too carved out time to be with my best friend who was in town for a few days. New Years Eve was coming and the party was at our house this year. Kacey was a godsend. Because of my still-aching back, (pinched nerve, I think) and knowing that I get a bit crazy as I prepare to entertain, she made herself available to do whatever I needed her to do. She’s growing up too, and that means I miss her a lot. But I am really proud of the adult she has become.

We had such a good time, and as expected, it all went by too fast. The Christmas tree is still up and I think I’ll leave it until next weekend. It’s so pretty and I’m in no hurry to take it down just yet.

I tend to get the blues after the holidays have passed. My focus before the holidays gets so centered on being with family and the happiness and fun that the holidays bring. It’s hard to go back to the same old same old. And I’ve realized that I feel the worst when I have nothing to work towards and nothing to look forward to. So maybe some resolutions are in order – nothing too rigid – just some things that need continued improvement.

So I’m resolving to get back into a good routine at the gym. I’ve been a slacker of late. I got sick over Thanksgiving weekend and I let it keep me out of the gym for more than a week. That chest cold hung on for weeks and even when I got back to the gym, there were days I just gave in to the urge for an extra hour of rest instead. And then came the back pain and there were days I couldn’t get out of bed without assistance, much less go run on a treadmill. It’s eased up now, and I think getting these muscles back to work will help heal me completely. And once that happens, I want to just push myself harder than before and get into better shape.

Last year I resolved to cook more and eat better. I made some improvement, but I’ve still got a long way to go. As I began to improve my cooking skills I realized that I needed better tools in my kitchen. I’ve added some cookware and better utensils and they deserve to be put to use. So I’m going to work on better meal planning and learning to say no when Mark says, “Should we just order a pizza?”

I don’t want to set unrealistic expectations, so I only have two other resolutions. Read more. Write more. These are two things that bring me serious fulfillment. They deserve more effort.

So while it is hard to say goodbye to my kids as they go back to their lives, I’m not going to dwell on the sadness it brings. I’ll look forward to the next time and while I wait, I’ll give myself things to work toward. But today? I’m dedicating today to some serious lounging!

… and so is Lucy …

 

Happy New Year, all!

Filling Up the Fun Tank

During all those years the kids were growing up, we were busy. It was important to me that my children be involved in “activities.” When we were growing up, my siblings and I didn’t get to join clubs or teams. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal, but from my kid-perspective, I felt as if I’d missed out on something. I was going to make sure my kids didn’t miss out on those experiences. Between the three of them, there were sports. You name it. They tried it all – soccer, baseball, softball, football, basketball, volleyball, wrestling, roller hockey, karate – and thankfully, they chose a few and stuck with them. They developed some talents and made some true friends in the process. There were also a few years of boy scouts and girl scouts. There were school productions, summer camps and there were church functions. Mission accomplished. My kids were active!

As parents of three busy kids, Mark and I spent our free time chaperoning them to practices, games and a multitude of events, not to mention all of the social activities that came as a result of all of this involvement. I often wondered when there would be time for me. 

Well, over the past year, my time has become mine again. I relish those pockets of quiet, uncommitted time to do anything or nothing. And believe it or not, I sometimes find myself actually feeling bored. After so many years of coordinating all the aspects of our life around the needs of three young people, I often forget that I now have the freedom to go out again and immerse myself in new experiences, soak up new knowledge, stay up late (though I don’t have much desire for that) and have fun without worrying who or what might suffer as a result. Which makes me glad that we have our bowling league to alleviate this occasional new-found boredom.

I do a lot of bowling, being a member of both a women’s league and a mixed league from September through April, and a member of a summer league as well. Our mixed league bowls every other Saturday which means, having a husband who is required to work every other weekend, any of our free weekends are spent at the bowling alley. I sometimes think it would be nice to do something other than bowl on a Saturday night when Mark is off work. The problem is, we still haven’t learned to plan ahead. If left to our own devices, we’d probably spend many a Saturday night at home, in our recliners, channel surfing. So I’m  mostly glad that we have a regularly scheduled “date” every other Saturday.

When I was growing up, other than church, my parents didn’t have regular commitments to socialize with their peers. This was not because they were antisocial, but more likely due to their financial restraints. But I think because of their example, making a long-term commitment to an organized group felt foreign to me at first. I initially struggled with feelings that there was something I should be doing as opposed to being out gallivanting, as my parents used to refer to my social activities. But the longer I remain involved, the more I realize the importance of doing things like this. It gives me a chance to fill up the fun tank, to connect with others who share similar interests and who are at a similar stage in life. And it’s fun! I relax. I smile. I laugh a lot! We are very comfortable around one another and there’s no shortage of hugging and good-natured teasing. Our bowling friends really know how to have a good time and I look forward to seeing what crazy things someone will do each week. This weekend, Buddy the Elf (aka, our friend, Ann) showed up to bowl!

I truly enjoy being a part of my bowling leagues. I have a chance to have “girl” time with the women’s league. And we’ve made some great friendships in the mixed league. It’s more than bowling. On Saturdays, a bunch of us bowlers get together early for happy hour and dinner before bowling. And after an evening of competition and fun, we usually reconvene after the games just because we enjoy spending time together. It’s the kind of thing that helps feed the soul. It allows us to put aside work, stress, worries and life’s obligations for a while and helps us to re-energize so that we’re more able to tackle the things life throws our way throughout the week.

And it also doesn’t hurt that I’m bowling really well these past few weeks. My average has jumped up ten points in recent weeks and I’m holding top positions for high game and high series among the women in our mixed league! Our Saturday team has now won 24 straight games and has climbed from the bottom of the barrel to gunning for first place position. But as long as we’re having fun, that’s all that really matters.

Just the kind of holiday I was hoping for…

Another Thanksgiving Day has come and gone. We spent the day itself with most of Mark’s family at his sister’s house. Not surprisingly, we ate too much. There were a few highlights to the day. I got to hold and play with the newest member of the family, our great-nephew, Mitch. I enjoyed an apple cider and bourbon drink before dinner and a slice of chocolate pecan pie afterwards. And as the festivities ended, big, sticky, wet snowflakes flurried down from the sky. I still have this sweet picture in my mind of Mitch in his mommy’s arms as she stood on the back porch. He gazed out into the world, watching in wonder as he witnessed his very first snowfall.

Later on back at home, Heather paged through the day’s newspaper and pulled out the sale ads. I heard her teasingly ask Brad if he wanted to go shopping at Target when they opened up at 9:00 pm. Brad’s not interested in shopping any day, much less willing to battle crazed bargain hunters on Thanksgiving night. But after Heather continued to tease him about taking her shopping, I got the sense that she really wanted to go. And when I asked her if she was serious, she admitted that she and her mom and sister always do the crazy Black Friday shopping thing. I felt bad that Heather was not only missing her own family, but sacrificing a family tradition to be with us. I contemplated volunteering for the excursion. There’s a Target store practically out my back door, so I asked if she wanted me with her. She was thrilled!  I’ve never done this kind of shopping before and can I just say? … Holy Schnikeys!  If I ever do that again, I’m wearing combat boots. Some lady rammed me in the heels with her shopping cart. For what, I’m not sure but I hope it was worth it. But Heather got the things she was looking for, so it was worth it in my book. Definitely an adventure!

The rest of the weekend was much more relaxing. I slept in each day. I think the chest cold that set in on Friday morning contributed to that habit. Kacey, Heather and I did a little more shopping. We cooked dinners and ate late and watched movies in the living room to which I fell asleep. On Saturday, we put the Christmas tree up. The kids had such fun decorating it. They’ve each got a big box full of ornaments given to them each year by various relatives. There’s no room on the tree for all of them. With each ornament that was pulled from the boxes, there was a memory to accompany it. They were being silly together and it was so good to listen to their laughter.

My only real goal for the weekend was to get a picture of all of us together. As the kids have grown up, it’s a rare occasion when we’re all together. I told the kids that I didn’t really care how they were dressed as long as they were neat and clean. While we waited for Mark to come home from work on Saturday night, Heather asked for a picture of her, Brad and Dacotah.

Brad, Dacotah and Heather

So then, Connor decided that he should have a similar photo with his dog and girlfriend.

Connor, Bella and Kacey

And then we still had some time to kill, so I made the boys pose with their dogs.

Connor & Bella, Brad & Dacotah, Jake and Lucy

And then we realized that before Mark got home from work, we should probably figure out where we had room to take a picture of seven people in this little house. Kacey thought it might be cool to get one of all of us sitting on the half flight of stairs. It quickly became obvious there was no way seven adults were going to fit in this space. So someone called out, “Roller Coaster!”  And … yeah …

Jake seems to have missed the Roller Coaster memo…

But in the end, we did manage to get a picture of all of us together.

Kacey, Connor, Mark, Jake, me, Brad, Heather

Which was nice, since no one could manage to behave themselves for long.

Oh well! If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

Oh, yeah! There’s one for the Christmas card!

Obviously, we had fun. It was exactly what I was hoping for this Thanksgiving holiday!

My Boys

My boys have grown up. I write a lot about Kacey here, but lately Brad and Jake haven’t made many appearances. Days often pass when I don’t cross paths with Jake at all. Days, sometimes a week will pass when I don’t hear from Brad. Today I got to see Jake and I got to spend time talking with both of my boys.

Brad is getting ready to finish college in North Dakota. Next month, the whole family is going to attend his graduation. I’m so excited, but Brad acts as if it’s not that big of a deal. It is a big deal! He’ll be the first in our family to earn his college degree! That’s huge! He didn’t even want to “walk” for graduation, but Heather and I insisted he should go to his graduation.

“I guess so,” he finally agreed. “I mean, I’ll only get to do this once.”

Brad called me today to let me know he’d be going hunting this weekend. No matter how big he gets, he still calls me to let me know when he’ll be going away for the weekend. He knows I’m a worry wart and just like to know where he is. You know… Just in case.

Brad loves to hunt. I mean LOVES. I knew from the time he was a toddler that he was going to be an outdoorsman. He has always been fascinated with wildlife and the outdoors. He was casting a fishing pole like a pro by the time he was three years old. He hunts and fishes every chance he gets. Last time he was home he told me he had a great dream about a flock of geese flying over him as he sat watching from a hunting blind.

“You probably think I’m crazy, dreaming about hunting,” he said to me.

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” I said. “I think you just have a passion.”

“Mom, I practically eat, sleep and breathe hunting,” he said. He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know.

We’ve started asking Brad when he thinks he’s going to ask Heather to marry him. We all just love her and want her to be an official member of the family. Brad says we should let him graduate first and get a full-time job before we start putting such pressure on him. I suppose he has a point.

Brad comes home for a long Thanksgiving weekend this month and I can’t wait. We don’t get him for Christmas. It’s Heather’s family’s turn to have them. But we get them back again over New Year’s so it all works out.

Jake works evenings, so even though he still lives at home, sometimes I don’t see much of him. I see evidence of him … his whiskers on the bathroom vanity after a shave, the ever-present cereal bowl in the kitchen sink with a few bits of Apple Jacks still floating there. He often leaves for work just before I get home. And when Jake gets home from work, I’ve usually been sleeping for several hours already.

But this morning, I heard Jake get up and move around. This was strange. Jake doesn’t get up that early even when he’s had a full night’s sleep. I was finishing getting ready for work and went to investigate. I found him wrapped up in his comforter, laying on the love seat in the living room and watching t.v.

“What’s up,” I asked him?

“Grbl mmbl mmm,” he said.

“What,” I asked?

“Grbl mmbl mmm.”

“Sorry, honey, but what?”

“Don’t feel good,” came his muffled reply from inside the comforter-tortilla.

I managed to find his face in a small opening and he did feel warm. It didn’t occur to me that a 21 year-old might not appreciate his mom checking for fever, but he didn’t complain. I suggested he should think about calling in sick to work.

“Can’t,” he mumbled. (He may seem lazy at home, but he’s got a good work ethic when it comes to his job!)

I had to leave for work and I passed out doggy-hugs as I always do and then leaned over to kiss Jake on the head too, as long as he was laying there. Again, he didn’t complain and I got a little case of the warm fuzzies for being allowed to express affection to my “little” boy. I’m sure the dogs were thrilled to have Jake to hang out with while I left for the day. Jake is so good to the dogs. He plays with them and loves them up and they just love him.

As I was leaving work this afternoon, my cell phone rang. It was Jake, calling to confirm what dates he needed to request off work for Brad’s graduation. After confirming the dates, I asked how he felt and he said his body hurt.

“Where are you calling me from,” I asked?

“From work,” he said. So he went after all, just like he said he was going to.

“Well, maybe you should tell your boss you’re probably contagious and see if he’ll let you go home,” I suggested.

“Can’t,” he said.

And I let it go. I felt bad for Jake, but at the same time felt a sense of pride.

I’m so lucky to have such good “boys.”

When you know you got at least a few things right with that parenting gig …

BZZZZZ!

TEXT MESSAGE!

… from my darling daughter upon her return to school after a weekend at home …

Forgot to tell you this, but on the way back to school Conn was saying how happy he was that we got to go out to eat with you guys, and how much he loves you guys and how sad he was to leave Sunday, and how he looks at Dad as one of his few ‘father figures’ so thank you for everything. Love you guys! Have a good week

That just felt like the kind of message I wanted to write down and keep forever. ‘Cause as much as I know we’ve screwed up in our roles as parents, it’s amazing to read words like these and know that once in a while, we manage to make a positive impact.

And these kids? We think they’re pretty great too.

Kids, Dogs and Chaos

We had a family wedding to attend on Saturday, so all of my kiddos returned to home base for the weekend. We awaited Brad and Heather’s arrival on Friday night and wondered how it was going to work with three dogs in the house, but not to worry. Dacotah and Lucy got reacquainted easily. Then Dacotah and Bella sized each other up and decided they could deal with one another just fine. All was well.

We did a decent job of juggling shower times Saturday morning. At one point, Kacey, Heather and I were all sharing the mirror in “my” lower level bathroom. But we were all dressed and ready in plenty of time for the wedding. Everyone looked great! You’d think I’d have managed to take a family picture while we were all spiffed up, wouldn’t you? I didn’t. Oh well. Sometimes I’m so busy trying to get pictures that I miss half the fun of an event. So we’ll just chalk this up to me enjoying the event for a change. Besides, I did manage to get some shots of the kids on my iPhone camera.

I love this shot of Brad and his godson, Ryan. Ryan is such a bundle of energy and so full of personality! Can you tell?

Just one of the many faces of Ryan!

What really made me happy was watching Jake interact with his cousins and family friends. Long story, but my best friend, Gina and I have mutual extended family, so she and her family were at the wedding and reception too. Gina’s beautiful, oldest daughter, Kirsten happened to be without a date. So did Jake happen to be without a date. Kirsten joked to Jake that they could be dates for the night. She did her best to get him out of his shell and onto the dance floor but he just couldn’t make himself do it. He’s so shy sometimes! But she had him smiling and blushing! It was wonderful to see him smile so much. I don’t see Jake’s smile enough.

Jake got his share of attention from the younger girls too.  Gina’s youngest daughter, Maddie clearly had a little crush on Jake and every chance she got she was climbing up in his lap, talking to him and running her hands over his buzz-cut hair. Jake tolerated this attention with more patience than I’d thought him capable of. Every time Gina and I would look over and see Maddie clamoring over Jake, we would laugh and I’d say, “Poor Jake!” Gina would say, “He’s adorable!”

He is. I wish he realized it too.

He didn’t want me to take this picture, but I managed to coax a smile out of him anyway!

 

Kacey and Connor

Brad and Heather

Brad, Heather, Kacey and Connor danced the night away. Mark took turns dancing with Kacey, his nieces and his sisters. I even managed to get Jake on the dance floor for one slower song. It was a good time!

We finally called it a night and headed home. The kids stretched out all over the living room in front of a movie. I was too tired to stay awake. Bella, Lucy and I headed off to bed.

Bright and early this morning, the dogs were awake and ready to go outside and rough-house a bit. While the dogs played, Brad wanted to know what was for breakfast. A big, hot breakfast is a rare treat, usually reserved for times like this when the house is full and busy. We decided on French toast and I enjoyed cooking it while Brad, Heather and Mark waited at the table for the first steaming slices to be ready for eating. I made stacks of French toast and we all ate until we were full. Eventually, Kacey decided to greet the day and came to the table to claim her share as well. Jake? Well, he’s the late sleeper, so I didn’t even count on him. I figured he’d eventually open his eyes and when he did, he would eat breakfast or lunch, depending on how late it was.

After breakfast, the girls and I went off to do some shopping, leaving the boys home to watch their hunting shows and football games. By the time we came back, Connor had joined the fun. The kids, hungry for lunch, descended on the kitchen once again, reheating leftover taco fixings and spaghetti and meatballs. Funny how food is always such a big part of family gatherings. It seems like someone is always eating, snacking or drinking. When everyone is home, I’m constantly rinsing dishes, wiping off the table and tidying up the counter tops. Funny, but at times like this, I don’t seem to mind so much.

Sunday is always my least favorite day of these family weekends. Sunday means it’s time for kids to leave home again and go back to school. And that means less chaos and fewer messes, but it also means all the happy conversation and joking and laughter fade away. I don’t mean to rush the days along, but I can’t wait for Thanksgiving when I can have this all over again.