Another successful day in suburbia in which no one gets arrested

Ha! I totally played hooky from work this afternoon (in a totally procedurally approved way, because I’m not nearly as badass as I sometimes pretend to be.) So I was able to be home in time to eat lunch with Brad and talk with him one-on-one for a while before his ride came to pick him up to return to school. You’ll all be proud of me too. I didn’t cry when he left this time. It does get easier. Also, he’ll be back in less than two weeks for his spring break so that helps immensely.

After Brad left for school, I finished up some chores that didn’t get done over the weekend while Mark sent Jake and Kacey out to shovel the driveway and front walk. (This was probably just a ploy to get them to take their bickering outside where he didn’t have to listen, I think.) When they finished shoveling, they pointed out the fact that there was a woman just sitting in a parked Jaguar right across the street. This was odd for a couple of reasons. No one who lives in this neighborhood owns a Jag. There’s one neighbor with a used Beemer, and a lot of higher end SUVs and trucks, but no Jags. This woman just sat in the car and watched as the kids shoveled. When they came in, I kept an eye on her as I continued my cleaning, wondering what she was doing there. Once in a while she’d lean the seat back and appeared as if she was napping. Then she’d raise the seat up again. She stayed for over an hour. And it’s like, five degrees outside.

Jake was really put off by the fact that she had the nerve to watch him shovel snow. I asked him why he didn’t go knock on the window and ask if he could help her. He told me, “No WAY! She’s like eighty years old and she might be a stalker. What if she had a gun?”

I told him if she was an eighty year old stalker interested in him, I’d give it serious consideration if she wanted to support him and his high dollar dreams and that way he wouldn’t have to worry about his grades. He didn’t find that funny. I guess I can find comfort in the fact that my kid’s got higher standards than just looking for a sugar-mama.

I tried to imagine what I might say if a call to the police was determined to be necessary. “Yes, officer. There’s a stranger sitting in a very nice, high quality vehicle parked in front of my house. Threatening? Yes, she’s somewhat threatening in a stalkerly, grandmotherly sort of way. But she’s parked in FRONT of my MAILBOX. The mailman won’t deliver if there are vehicles parked within twenty feet of my mailbox. Yes, I know it’s a federal holiday and there’s no mail delivery today. Suspicious behavior? Yes, I consider taking a nap in a vehicle when the outside temperatures are in the single digits to be suspicious. Don’t you? Ok, ok, maybe it is simply ODD behavior. Yes, I understand napping isn’t a criminal offense. Yes sir, I’ll go get a life now.”

In reality, I figured it might be a social worker keeping an eye on the goings-on at a neighbors’ house where the husband was recently asked by his wife to move out and visits with the kids are to be supervised. (This is not as ominous as it sounds. It’s a very sad situation, actually.) But on second thought, if social workers are making the kind of money that allows them to drive luxury vehicles, I’m in the wrong line of work.

My other thought was that she was a realtor, as the neighbor next door just put her house on the market this past weekend. But again, with the subprime mortgage crisis and stale housing market, it again seems unlikely that someone in that field is driving a Jag right now.

In the end, whoever she was, she was just waiting for someone who came out of another neighbor’s house. Now I just feel like Mrs. Kravitz, the nosy neighbor with nothing better to do. It’s just another peacefully uneventful day here in suburbia, except for the very un-peaceful bickering of two bored teenagers.

I guess no one’s getting arrested today so I think I’ll go catch up on what I missed in the blog world this weekend.

4 thoughts on “Another successful day in suburbia in which no one gets arrested

  1. We had one of those incidents not too long ago. I noticed a guy sitting in a car across the street around 7pm. Luckily, Colin came home from work and I forgot about it. Then I noticed him again around 10pm and just as Colin was going to phone the police – THE POWER WENT OUT.

    I was terrified. My cell was dead, Colin’s cell was dead and we don’t have a non-electrical phone unit in the house. Sounds like a horror story, huh? Eventually the guy just drove away and left at about 11:30pm. It was beyond creepy. I called him the Creeper. Thank God Colin was home – Friday nights he tends to play hockey and have a beer or two after work. I would’ve been posed at the window with a knife. Yup, typical woman.


  2. What would have been fun – would have been to have Jake sneak around behind the Jag and tie some strung together cans to her bumper. Uhm – okay sure its juvinile to do that – THATS why you have the kid do it! Aeight? Makes it okay. :-)


  3. I always get weirded (or is it wierded?) out by people parked in cars for long periods of time. Especially with kids and the crazies that live in this day and age. I have an extreme fear that my kids will be kidnapped… it’s one of my paranoias.


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