Cool Balls

Does anyone else find themselves needing to say things like this to their spouse?

“If you suffocate my cat, I will suffocate YOU!”

It occurs to me that it’s kind of odd I find it necessary to ask my husband not to trap my cat under a comforter and then torment her from the outside. It’s not the first time a warning of this nature has been made. Of course, this is the same man to whom I’ve just explained for the millionth time that he can’t command the kids not to pout after he’s reprimanded them. Especially the girl kid. She is going to pout. That’s what girls do. Get over it. Sheesh. Besides, he should be used to pouting by now. He’s married to me.

HarveysMark, Kacey and I went over to the new Pinz to have some dinner and check out the place. The restaurant inside Pinz is called Harvey’s Pub and the food was excellent! I had a turkey avocado wrap, Kacey had chicken quesadillas and Mark had the philly cheese steak hoagie. I just grazed on everyone’s food. It was that good. It was big food too. I had to get a to-go box for my leftovers.

ball-largeAfter dinner we went to check out the rest of the place. The bowling alley is very cool, very state of the art. While Mark was checking it out, I wandered into the pro-shop and made friends with the… I guess you would call him “The Pro.” I was checking out his balls….ahemthe selection of bowling balls on display in the shop. There were pink balls, blue balls, sparkly balls, swirly balls and even Harley Davidson balls. Kacey thought I should go for the Hello Kitty ball, but it wasn’t my style. I’m leaning toward a little hot pink and black number, myself.

Mike, my new friend, The Pro, asked me if I was interested in a ball. I mentioned I might be, but didn’t know what to look for as I am very much a novice when it comes to bowling balls.

“You throw a hook or a straight ball,” he asked?


“You wanna learn to throw a hook?”

“I might,” I said.

“If you want to buy a ball, I’ll help you figure out which one is best for you and I can teach you to throw a hook in three throws,” he assured me.

“Really? You give lessons? Here?”

“We’ll go wherever you’re bowling, watch you bowl and teach you some basics.”

Not a bad deal!

By this time I was leaning over the counter, deep in conversation with Mike when Mark finally wandered in, probably afraid that I was spending a bundle of money. I glanced at him and mentioned I was trying to decide which of Mike’s balls I liked best.

“I’m picking out a ball,” I tossed over my shoulder.

“She’s thinking about one of these, right here up front,” Mike said.

Mark had a questioning look on his face. “How much?”

“About $270,” Mike stated, matter of factly.

I like Mike. I didn’t even have to tell him to play along. Of course, Mark wasn’t really fooled and Mike was even nice enough to suggest I wait until August to make my purchase as there would be about thirty new styles coming out in the much-less-than $270 range.

Yeah, so I guess I’m getting serious about my bowling.

After we said goodbye to Mike, we hit the arcade and laser tag area to watch Jake working behind the prize counter. I tried not to embarrass him too much when I waved from across the arcade and shouted, “Hi honey! Don’t you look handsome in your work uniform!”

I’m kidding! I wouldn’t do that to my kid in front of his peers.

Jake looked pretty confident and very personable. I was proud of him! I discreetly caught his attention during a free moment and asked if he was scheduled to work this weekend. He said he wasn’t, so I mentioned that I had checked out the bowling alley and asked if he wanted to bowl a few games this weekend. The place is very cool! Jake gave me a very non-committal “maybe.” It’s the best I can expect when asking my 18 year old if he wants to hang out with his old mom.

We let Jake get back to work and spent a few bucks in the arcade. Kacey and I played the giant Guitar Hero game and rocked out on Mississippi Queen. Mark played some shooting games, one of them a giant virtual reality kind of thing where he was shooting at gigantic monster spiders. I was grossed out. I’m going to have nightmares. Unless maybe I end up dreaming about hot pink balls instead.

21 thoughts on “Cool Balls

  1. Ooh, pretty pink balls…this canNOT be a good way to start a comment! HAHA

    Good mom with Jake – I’m learning quickly from you! Travis has been BEGGING to talk to us about girls and all sorts of stuff. All it took was a noncommittal, “Oh, really?” instead of my almost irresistable urge to totally tease him!


  2. I needed a good laugh, thanks! I was picturing you leaning over the counter with you back to Mark, telling him you were trying to decide which of Mike’s balls you like best. That’s just funny stuff.


  3. Every week, when my son gets home from his weekly trucking runs, I go through a similar conversation with him as I try to pin him down to whether or not he will be joining us for supper! Sheesh. Offer him a free, home-cooked meal and usually something that I know he likes too and his answer is always very non-committal! Irritates the living daylights out of me!
    Cool balls, indeed too! The hot pink and black does sounds (looks, too) really neat. About 40 some odd years ago, the girls I was best friends with at work in the big city (Washington, D.C.) and I always exchanged Christmas gifts. There were three of us. And, we set a monetary limit on how much we would spend too -$50. 00 was generally our limit per person. (But, if we wanted to get one person something special that cost more, then two of us would go together on the purchase.) Anyway, one year my friends gave me a bowling bag, bowling shoes and my own ball! It was a jade color with black swirls. I still have it somewhere but why, I don’t know because I can’t bowl now thanks to my back and leg issues plus, the finger holes would have to be completely redone too as I can’t even think of getting my fat pinkies in any of them!
    But, back then, for me, that gift was a really great present as the three of us bowled in a league through our Employees Club at work and so they got lots of use back then.


  4. Once you start throwing hook you will never go back. It is so much more fun and challenging.

    Once you get it down the strikes will start piling up.

    I paid 270 for my ball but before that I had a reactive resin ball I paid 65 for that worked almost as well.


  5. The pink and black ball looks nice.
    I had to click on the Pinz link to know for sure what it was. All those games under one roof, sounds good.
    Sure, those places are designed to part you from your money at every turn but that’s what money is for isn’t it? If you get the enjoyment that’s what counts.
    I even clicked on Mike’s Pro Shop but sadly there was no picture of Mike to see what he looked like.
    That is definitely a good offer to give a free lesson, might elevate your game no end.
    I have no idea what bowling balls cost, but if you get the one ball that is just right for you then it is an investment.


  6. I have told my hubs to not make me ‘jab him with a stick’ ~ all in love.

    Your family night out sounds great and Pinz sounds like a really fun place.


  7. sounds like a cool place. I love trying new restaurants. And I do love food.

    Imagine, if you show up to one of the bowling nights throwing hooks out of no where. Won’t THAT be impressive!


  8. I was pretty much beside myself laughing at this. The only thing I can say is that $270 is way too much for just one ball. For that, you should at least get two.


  9. Wow..bowling alleys have come along way from teh 70s’ and 80’s…. restaurants with more than burgers, tacos and pizza; arcades, etc. And such a variety of balls. Maybe when I retire, I’ll check my alley out. That’s right, my alley. We just have one.


  10. Blue. You should definitely go for the blue. It fits in with ‘ball busters’ so very well.
    As far as humiliating your son in front of his peers, you are much nicer than I. My post tomorrow will cover the details.


  11. Sounds like a fun place –

    Mike was hitting on you. admit it. (!!!)
    I’m sure you have good taste in balls.

    Its always weird when your parents come to your place of work.. LOL


  12. It was definitely an interesting experience, sitting here reading about how you “checked out Mike’s balls.”


    That place sounds like a lot of fun! Your son got a pretty cool job.

    You should definitely go for the pink ball. You would be the envy of your co-ed bowling league. Poor Unsuspecting Dave wouldn’t know what to think!


  13. You should have embarassed Jake. Next time pinch his cheek while you’re telling him he looks cute, just for good measure.

    Don’t forget to make embarassing references to his childhood, such as how he used to love Barney the Purple Dinosaur, or whatever, and tell him he needs to put away his laundry and make his bed. And refer to his peers as his “little friends,” and ask if they want to come over for lemonade and muffins sometime.

    HA! And see if you can catch it all on video and post it up here–I want to see the look on the kid’s face!


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