Family Harmony Classes

Kids (and husbands) of all ages are welcome:

Replacing the Toilet Paper Roll 101

3 Sessions Available

March 5, 2010          9:00 – 9:01 a.m.

March 6, 2010          1:30 – 1:31 p.m.

March 7, 2010          3:15 – 3:16 p.m.

Class sizes limited to three. That’s all we can fit in the bathroom at one time.


Where Do the Empty Milk Cartons Go?

Contrary to popular belief, empty milk cartons placed on the kitchen counter or in the sink aren’t likely to find their own way to the trash. Come join us as we explore the mechanics of opening the kitchen trash can and the proper placement of said cartons. Participants will receive a cold glass of milk as part of their training. (White and chocolate varieties available.)

Bonus training includes an in-depth discussion of reasons NOT to leave 2 tablespoons of milk in the carton so as to “justify” returning the carton to the refrigerator.

1 Session Only

March 6, 2010          1:45 p.m.

Class size is 10. The kitchen is much bigger than the bathroom.


Guided Tour of the Home in Which You’ve Lived for the Vast Majority of Your Life

Includes a detailed exploration of the mysterious location of the laundry hamper.

March 6, 2010          10:00 – 11:00 a.m.


It’s a Crummy Life

Come join us as Mom demonstrates several techniques for wiping up counters and tables after food preparation and eating. Also includes instruction on deciphering nasty smells and the frequency in which the dishcloth should be changed. Participants will be shown the location of the linen closet (contrary to popular belief, it hasn’t moved in 22 years) and where to find stacks of clean dish cloths within.

March 5, 2010          6:30-7:00 p.m.  (Right after dinner when we’ll have ample opportunity to provide examples.)

Awards will be given at the end of each class for those able to participate without rolling their eyes or snide remarks.

Register now. Classes are filling up quickly!

20 thoughts on “Family Harmony Classes

  1. How about a class for wives and children who believe that electricity costs nothing and that there are actually switches on lights that turn them off?


  2. I Love it!!! LOL

    Are these available in Webinar?

    May I suggest Trash Disposal 101?

    Activities include the proper closure and maintanance checks of trash vessicles. The transportation routes and avoidances of obstacles.

    I think you’re on to something!

    great post!


  3. Now that’s just damn funny. Nicely done. Especially the TP class. Are you an over or under roll person? Over is the only way to go!

    I’ve thought about this and I wonder if you sat down with the family and said “Look, if YOU don’t do this, then I have to do it. Do you really want to make MORE work for your mother/wife?” I wonder if that would work…..


    • I’m an over roll person… it makes me crazy if it’s under.

      I’ve had that discussion with the kids. Apparently they don’t mind if Mom has more work than she cares for… Hence the classes.


  4. Hey, will these classes be offered in other locations? Such as MY home???? I also think another beneficial class would be “No, your clothes are NOT dirty just because you wore them for 2 hours”, otherwise known as “Learn to do your own laundry”. :)


  5. Thank you for the laugh. Needed it today. I think you could make a fortune teaching said classes. I offer them frequently in our home and have quite the repeat in clientele.

    We have several of the same classes in addition to:
    “The back of the chair is not your closet”
    “Milk rings are not counter decorations”
    “Here is the garbage disposal switch and how to turn it in the on position”
    ” Eat over your plate so I can quite cleaning the floors – PLEASE!!!!”


  6. Can I attend via webcam? I am really interested in attending the milk carton class. Will there be homework? Are you grading on a curve?

    When’s the class on how to take out the trash?


  7. This cracked me up. Can I attend the milk carton class? I love chocolate milk!

    I have to say that the empty container thing is a huge pet peeve of mine. When I lived with my buddies they used to leave empty containers in the fridge just to irritate me.


  8. OMG Terri! This list of these classes is super! Apparently whoever put that piece together has a family exactly like ours here is -either that or she has been channeling my “under my breath” rants that I do around here with a lot of frequency. Replacing the toilet paper roll is an unknown item to the 18-year-old and to her father and pitching the empty milk container (or juice container) -well the award for that is split between the 18-year-old and daughter Mandy here! LOL
    I maybe should copy that, print it out and post it to the refrigerator just to see if anyone reads it -and I’d be circling the ones about the toilet paper and the milk cartons too, you can bet your bottom dollar on that!


  9. I sat next to Mike as he was commenting on your blog, and I happened to read what he wrote. I asked him if I do that, and I found out that I leave the pitcher of tea in the fridge with just a little left in the bottom. I told him I thought you could still use it- he said no..he just throws it away and starts another pitcher. I always thought I was saving it because there was nothing wrong with the tea in the bottom of the pitcher- I just didn’t have a big enough cup to use all of it!


  10. This was so funny I had to read it out loud to Ken who also laughed out loud. And he never does that. You def need to make this a regular feature!!!


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